Toeing the Line Part 3 - The Pyramid

————————————————————————————–

The pyramid becomes unbalanced.

————————————————————————————–

Yes, you may pray together, and do devotions together, church, Bible study, and you can talk about anything and everything under the sun. You’re connected deeply through emotions, feelings, conversations. But all of that will quickly turn into a downward spiral if there is no physical bond. This is where a lot of marital problems come into play. There has to be an equal balance of the physical, emotional, and spiritual. As another writer said, the physical connection is a sign that the hearts should also be connected.

————————————————————————————–

I had a couple friends ask me in the past if God was going to break their relationship up because they were doing a lot of physical stuff. (First off, I’m not God, so I can’t answer that 100% for sure if they’ll break up or not). For me, I don’t believe that God is sitting up in heaven waiting to snap His fingers and ruin our lives every time we screw up. Our God is a God of mercy and justice. If a relationship fails, it is not strictly a result of the physical aspect. More often than not there is another issue. The “balance” has been upset. If a couple is solely focused on the physical part of their relationship than the other two areas will begin to fail. This begins a downward spiral of destruction for the couple. I’ve seen it happen, and I’ve had it happen to me. It’s not worth it.

So what do you do when you stub your proverbial toe in the relationship? So you’ve tripped up, and realized you’re in a little too far physically, do you cut out all physical aspects cold turkey? No, that’s probably not a good idea, because then your focus will be on getting that aspect back instead of balancing out the rest. Once you’ve done it, its hard to say no the 2nd and 3rd times around. If you have the lights off, and you stub your toe on the coffee table; do you get rid of the coffee table? Cut off your toe? No, you turn the lights on for next time. Turn on the lights in your relationship! Once you’ve figured out which aspects of your relationship are not up to snuff, be conscious of the fact.Figure out times to talk, times for physical and times for spiritual.

Pray together. Pray for each other.

But one of the worst things you could probably do for your relationship is cut out any and all physical closeness. Its not healthy. Men and women were meant and made to interact. Get comfortable around each other. If you’re looking towards a more permanent relationship (i.e. marriage), then gradually as the wedding day draws nearer, you can increase the amount of physical closeness. But the most important is to BE COMFORTABLE. Not only with your significant other, but with yourself as well. Its a gradual process. It won’t happen overnight. Take time, make it fun. 

————————————————————————————–

Preview Part 4: I heard “Jane” say her fiance told her she couldn’t rub his neck anymore, but especially when they were alone, because he couldn’t handle it. He was going to lose control if she didn’t stop, and they might go too far.” Rubbing his neck would make him lose control? Does he not have any self-control at all?

 Watch for my next one in the series… “Toeing the Line Part 4… Self-Control.”

Toeing the Line Part Two - Stubbing Your Toe

The church and church leaders have ingrained it into young peoples’ minds that the physical aspect of a relationship is a stumbling block. That is, until that magical moment when the “I DOs” have been said, and the rings have been put on. Then its this wonderful time of happiness, love and ecstasy.

FALSE

If it is hounded into us, over and over again for 20 plus years, that physical closeness is a sin. . .

————————————————————————————–

How in the world are we supposed to re-program our minds into thinking its okay on our wedding night?

————————————————————————————–

I have a friend who told me the only thing she and her now-husband did before they got married was hold hands. Worst decision ever she said. It wasn’t necessarily their decision alone, but pressure from their church and family to abstain from any type of physical contact prior to saying “I Do.” During this conversation she said it took them almost a year to feel comfortable with each other, and for physical closeness to be natural. This is NOT how God designed it! Your wedding night is supposed to be fun, enjoyable, exciting, and YES sexual! (If I offend you, I apologize, but this is a fact of life).

The church PARENTS need to be teaching young adults and teens that physical closeness is OK within certain limits, and as long as you keep it in balance. Holding hands is NOT going to make a baby. Hugging is NOT going to make a baby. Get real people.

A wise person once told me that relationships are like pyramids. The relationship is the top point, and the base is formed of three things: physical, emotional, and spiritual. If these three things are not kept in equal balance, the pyramid (relationship) will fall. You cannot have a successful relationship with only two aspects.  Its a stumbling block. It is NOT a stumbling block, unless YOU let it become one.

————————————————————————————–

Check out Part 3 — The Pyramid

Toeing the Line - How Far Is Too Far?

“How far is too far?”

You have to admit it… its the most frequently asked question and hottest topic discussed in Christian circles today.

 

All throughout middle and high school it was hounded into me by my church “do not cross the big black line.” Because once you cross the line, you’ll never be able to go back.

—————————————————–
First off, this post isn’t going to tell you what is and isn’t okay to do in your relationship. It is not going to say where the black line is. I am in no way an expert on relationships or sexual relations.

So here are my ramblings in paragraph form.

—————————————————–

The black line does not exist. You may be thinking, oh my gosh what is she thinking?! False. It doesn’t exist. There is no “BIG BLACK LINE” that fits every single relationship out there. There is a lot of gray areas between being a completely chaste virgin, and having had sex. That “black line” statement, I have discovered, is a ploy that “Christian” leaders use to scare kids into complete chastity. These so-called leaders of the church aren’t teaching their kids how to live in the real world. From what I’ve seen, once these kids come out from under that authority, they go crazy and do everything under the sun (including but not limited to: sex, alcohol, drugs, etc.). I would really like to know if these “Christian leaders” speak from experience, or if they’re just speaking.

My thoughts on the black line in your relationship is this: You need to figure out what your convictions are. Let me go off on a rabbit trail here… by your convictions… I do not mean the guilt that was laid on you growing up by parents, pastors, youth pastors, youth leaders, church. This isn’t what your parents believe, or your pastor, or your friend. I’m talking about what YOU believe. Your beliefs. Your morals. Your convictions. One of my friends gave me some excellent advice last May. She said “in your last year of college, figure out the friendships you want to last; deepen them. Make memories, have fun, and make your faith your own.” That is what I’ve been trying to do since then. Discovering why I believe what I believe. Making my faith my own.

—————————————————–

Each person is different. Each relationship is different. The physical connection in each relationship will have different dimensions, and different levels of attraction. You can’t let other people dictate your relationship. Once you’ve figured out what your line is, you need to discuss this with your significant other. If they don’t respect it, then run. Run hard and fast.

If you’re in a relationship that is heading towards the “long-term aspect”, the “happily ever after part”, the “til death do us part” part; okay, okay. Marriage. Then you definitely need to talk about what is and isn’t okay for you. I had a discussion with one of my friends who has certain things that they will not do, in or out of marriage. If this isn’t discussed prior to saying “I DO;” there are going to be BIG problems. For instance, some people in the more conservative realms believe that oral sex is a sin no matter what. Whether it occurs inside or outside of marriage. If you and your significant other are not on the same page, go see a counselor. Get good pre-marital counseling, get good post-marital counseling. Right Away.

—————————————————–

I know many couples on both sides of this spectrum. Couples who have had pre-marital sex, couples who waited for everything, couples who explored the gray areas. Most of them have lasting relationship that I believe will succeed in the long-term.

Another false-hood that young people believe today is that physical intimacy will be a stumbling block. Or that it will ruin their relationship. Its true, there is a fine balance that, if not properly kept, will most likely ruin a relationship. However, physical intimacy is not the problem, there are other underlying issues causing the relationship to fail.

~ Coming soon… Toeing the Line Part Two – Stubbing Your Toe ~

I've Moved!

Due to formatting and social networking I've moved to http://dancinginhisgrace.wordpress.com/
Come visit me!

Coffee with a Prostitute

We tell the world that Salvation is something that costs you nothing, and promises everything. But in reality, true salvation, will cost you everything.

There’s a woman in the Bible, who risked everything, including her life, for just one moment with a very important man. Some day I want to have coffee with her in Heaven. And yes, there will be coffee in Heaven because, well, the Bible says He brews it. Go ahead and say it, I’m pathetic. But you laughed, didn’t you?

You may be thinking, “oh she wants to meet Esther, or maybe Ruth, possibly even Mary sister of Lazarus.”

Wrong on all accounts.

I want to meet the prostitute in Luke 7. 

This woman was a “woman of the night,” a harlot, a prostitute. She sold her body to make a living. She was a woman that no one, at least no “good people” would talk to or associate with. Also in those days, people did not bathe once a  day like we do, maybe not even every week. And because of that, around this woman’s neck would hang a vial of perfume. This perfume would be used to overpower the body odor that I’m sure everyone had. She would most likely use a single drop at a time because it was such a precious commodity to have perfume. That was part of her livelihood. She would also use her hair as an eye-catcher. Women’s hair was supposed to be covered, up, and reserved only for her husband. However, this woman used her hair to work her whiles on the men.

To set up another scene, Jesus is at the house of Simon, and Simon had not offered to wash his feet. It was customary in those days that a guest, such as the rabbi Jesus, would have their feet washed. If it was an honored guest, the host would wash the person’s feet themselves. Picture walking all day in hot, dry, sand. Its probably been dusty, you’re starting to sweat, and now its stuck to your feet.  Oh, did I mention you were also wearing leather sandals or are barefoot? I think your feet would need washed… Well, after being snubbed by Simon; Jesus and the fellow guests reclined at the table, which meant they were laying on their side, propped up by an elbow. Therefore, the guests’ feet were probably touching at some point. Jesus’ feet were not washed, Simon snubbed him and didn’t wash Christ’s feet. Imagine if all the men’s feet were dirty, or just a few were clean? Simon didn’t wash Jesus’ feet. 

In the moments leading up to this dinner at Simon’s house, something touched this woman. Something, or someone, touched her so much that she was moved to tears. She then went into the dinner uninvited and stood over Jesus. Now not only was this uninvited interruption a huge offense, but because she was lower in class than Jesus, standing above Him at his feet was another sign of disrespect. In today’s culture, what she did would be called obscene. 

The woman was weeping, in fact, she was weeping so much that her tears were washing His feet. She was cleansing the Lord’s feet with her tears. I cannot even fathom this. I cry, not many people see me cry, but I do. I’m not made of stone. But to wash two feet? That’s a lot of tears. She then took her unbound hair (another obscene offense) and began to wipe His feet and clean them. Hair was a woman’s mark of beauty, and worthiness. It was not cut, and never seen by anyone except her husband. She let her hair down and then dried Christ’s feet with her crown of beauty. 

But here comes the best part.

She took that special vial of perfume, the one that she used maybe one drop per man that she serviced, and used the entire vial on Christ’s feet. Then, she prostrated herself on the floor, in front of an entire room of people, and began to kiss the Lord’s feet. She didn’t just use oil, she used perfume, expensive perfume. She was so desperate to show her affection that she risked death for a chance with the Lord Jesus.

Now Simon, he was not very happy with this harlot crashing his dinner party, but Jesus began to tell the parable of the two men who owed money. Their debts were forgiven, who loved the moneylender more? The one with the most debt forgiven. So Jesus, turning toward the woman, said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. Her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”  

Sometimes I think the more people mess up, and realize that God forgives them, the more power they have in reaching people with the true love of God. I know I’ve been forgiven of things, and for me, its given me a special love for people in similar situations. I’m able to talk to them, without judging. I’m able to love them, without stipulations. I want them to know the same forgiveness I have known. I want them to know the loving God who I know and love for myself.

This woman’s faith, almost cost her everything. She could have been stoned for what she did. But, Christ forgave her for everything. She left that house, and was totally forgiven, but she had been willing to give up everything for a moment with Christ. Everyone may say “Salvation is a free gift, you don’t have to do anything!!” And no, we do not have to DO anything to receive salvation. It is a free gift. But once we have that gift, kind of like a new baby, it is going to cost us everything we have.

So while I do want to meet Esther, and Ruth and many other people in history.

 I really can’t wait to have coffee with a prostitute. 

Truth or Lie?

I'm asking YOU for feedback... ALWAYS tell the truth no matter what? Or is it ok to lie sometimes? Like when the lie is for the benefit of another person?

Leave a comment, tweet me, or facebook message me.

Live Like Christ, Love Like Christ

I’ve been musing about this for the past few days while catching up with friends at school. In the past 7 days I have heard it all. From engagement stories, to weddings, to break-ups, fights with friends, parents, in-laws. Just about everything.
The biggest thing that stood out to me though is that very few of my friends were loving like Christ loved when He was on earth, and how He still loves now.
There was no condemnation behind His love.
There was no judgement behind His love.
There was no ridicule behind His love.
Did Jesus judge? Of course He did; just one example is when He judged the Pharisee’s and Scribes who wouldn’t admit they were sinners. But He is perfect, He is omniscient, He is omnipotent, He is omnipresent, He is God. He had the right to judge.
I am a lowly senior in nursing school. Have I had experience in certain aspects of life – yes. However, that does not give me the right to judge other people in the way they live their life. When I think people are in the wrong, do I tell them? Sometimes… it really depends on the situation and how close I am to them.
I don’t agree with the lifestyle of every one of my friends; some are on the more conservative side, some are on the far opposite side. Do I love them all – YES. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those friends in my life.
But someday each and every one of us will answer to God for the decisions we made throughout our life. It is His job to judge us. If we are Christians, thank the good Lord for forgiveness and we will be rejoicing in Heaven with Him.
We, as humans, have taken the liberty of allowing “Christianity” to entitle us to judge and condemn others for the decisions they make. This is where Christians gain a bad name; and quite honestly, Christianity is losing its beauty. True Christians should mimic the love of Christ. Jesus was a servant, He loved everyone, He had compassion, He listened to people, and He helped them.
It is impossible for us to have love that is unbiased, and isn’t skewed in some way. But it is possible for us to try and love like Christ did. When we ourselves realize the great sacrifice He made for us, such lowly sinners, we realize we’re no better than anyone else in the world.

Walk the Walk? Or Just Talk the Talk?

One of my professors today said "Your integrity will follow you for the rest of your life, a grade will not. Are you willing to sacrifice your integrity for something that no one will remember in a year or two?"

How many times are we willing to sacrifice just "one quiz" its no big deal.
I'll just look at her work to see how she did it... just this time.

I'm not going to lie... I've sacrificed things before that when I look back... I just think how stupid I was. They were just little things... things that probably no one else even noticed. But I've learned my lesson, and not only do I try to hold up my integrity, but by doing so, I help others as well. Maybe I sound like a hypocrite, but that is not my intention. I have to work at it too, its definitely not easy choosing the right thing. Even when no one else is watching. I know so many people who live two different lives though; one at school, one at home, etc., etc. We all do it, but I think the world needs to work at being real, being genuine. The definition of integrity is "being honest, and having strong moral principles."

One of the things that has hit me the past few days is that people do watch you. They remember things. Even if you're not aware of it, you could be changing someone's life. Its happened with me, and  I've been told that I've changed peoples' lives. I know I have changed simply because of something a person said or did when they had no idea I could hear them. It was awful... but I was able to take that and change how I handle certain situations in my own life. People that I only know bits and pieces about are telling me that the things I write on here have influenced some things in their own life. WOW.  Half the time I write, I feel like I'm just posting my rambling thoughts. No one really cares what I write, but somehow God turns my jumbled up thoughts into something that He can use to reach someone else.

So are you willing to sacrifice your integrity for a grade? or for something bigger? or even smaller?
Think about it.

Passages to look up:
Job 27:6
2 Cor 4:2
Hebrews 13:8

"Honesty is the best policy, as the saying goes. It works in business as it does in all of life. Without honesty, relationships fail, business turns sour, and self-respect goes right out the door. Honesty is the bedrock upon which we build our marriages, conduct our businesses, and sell our products."
~Edward Hayes~

Summer's End

Dear Family and Friends,

            I am now back in Lynchburg for my senior year at Liberty University. I’m so excited to see what God has me learning during my final year of nursing school! This past summer was full of amazing experiences, and there are entirely too many stories to share on one page! Bear with me as I try to give you just a glimpse of what happened during the past two months.

            Once I arrived back from another year of summer missionary training school, I started right in with a full week of clubs. I taught at 3 day cares and one private home. The daycares averaged 12-15 children per day, so we always had a lot of fun. The kids loved the Bible lessons that taught the I Am’s of Christ. The first day we learned that He is the Good Shepherd, then the Bread of Life, and so on throughout the week. During the games we play to help the children learn their memory verses there was lots of laughter and carrying on, but the kids knew their memory verses the next day! At one of the clubs, 5 year old Curtis piped up and said “When Jesus died on the cross and went to Heaven, He left ME in charge of the world!” I wasn’t quite sure what to say to that…. During my second week of clubs, they were all in private homes or at the CEF county office. It was great being able to teach the same children as previous years and see how much they had grown in their faith. My last week of clubs were all local clubs in the Jonestown and surrounding area. In total I was able to teach about 25-30 kids every day. Because I work alone, counseling children for salvation is one of the biggest challenges I face. Mr. Ralph was able to come to club a few days throughout the summer and counsel children total for salvation. At one club we had 6 children respond to the invitation.

            One of the “favorite” parts of club for the children was the missionary story we teach every day. We always leave off at a cliff hanger so the kids want to come back the following day. This year we taught the story of John Paton who was one of the first missionaries to the Vanuatu islands. During his lifetime he was able to minister to many different groups of people on the islands. This was, by far, my favorite missionary story. Vanuatu has been close to my heart since I was in 9^th grade. I got to hear a group of missionaries speak about the island peoples, and I have felt a burden since then for this people group. Financially, and schedule-wise, it has never worked out for me to go to Vanuatu. However, at the end of next summer, before I start full-time hospital work, I am praying for the opportunity to finally go to Vanuatu! The short-term trip schedule is not online yet for 2013, but if God allows, next August or September I will be making my way to those special islands off the coast of Australia prior to starting work full-time.

            Once again, thank you so much for your prayers and support during this summer. Financially you have helped me complete my last year of college, and pay for my car to be fixed (three times) in the past two months. Talk about Satan not wanting me at clubs… thank goodness we have an extra family car! Spiritually, I have felt your prayers at work throughout the summer when it felt like I couldn’t do one more thing. I would greatly appreciate your continued prayers as I finish up this rigorous last year at college, and make plans for the future. As of right now I will finish up with school mid-June of 2013, and begin studying for State Boards. Currently I do not know where I will be working after graduation, nor what my summer plans will be, but God will lead me in the right direction. I just continue to walk through the doors until God shuts one, and opens another. I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future!

Thank you again.

In Christ,

Meagan Gerberich

Memorable Moments.... 

Sabastian getting revenge with a bucket of water!

Mmmmm babies :)

Sister picture.

Me being "Dandy Lion" for the kids' game.

 

Mind Your P's & Q's

Ever heard the phrase "Mind your P's and Q's?" It actually came from  the old saloon days when beer was served in pints and quarts. When people would get rowdy, the bartender would yell "Mind your P's and Q's."

I always thought it meant "mind your own business," but now I think of old drunks when I hear that saying. Ironic huh? Assumptions.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this... assumptions. It doesn't matter who someone is, what kind of background they come from, or their current station in life: he or she will always be a victim of other people assuming things about them.

Home schooled? No social skills, friends, etc.
Dressed in expensive brands? Pampered rich kid.
Lots of clothes and shoes? Spoiled.
Nice car? Mommy & Daddy paid for it.
Fashion smart guy? In touch with his feminine side or gay.
Girl dresses a little sexy? She's scandalous or worse a slut.
Birth control? Girl is having sex.

If any of those offended you... I'm sorry. They were not meant to offend, simply to point out assumptions that people have each and every day. Sadly, I've assumed things similar to those, and have also been the subject of people's assumptions.

I will be one of the first to say that first impressions can make or break a meeting, friendship, etc. However, how often do those impressions stem from assumptions, which then lead to judgement?

It may sound like I'm generalizing, which I am not intending to do. When I write my blogs, I write to an intended audience, and if others read it - great.

Have you ever seen a homeless person and wondered what their story was? Maybe you think "wow, what a bum, go get a job." What if they can't get a job? Half the time if someone is homeless, they have no where to receive disability checks, welfare checks, or food stamps -- let alone to receive a paycheck. Sometimes it seems there is no way for them to get out of the poverty. There is a book called "The Street Lawyer" that I picked up the other day. Such an awesome book with a very different and eye-opening perspective about life on the streets. There are over 10,000 homeless in Manhattan... over 15% of those homeless people are Vietnam Veterans. Why in the world are military veterans homeless?! PTSD, various psychological disorders, overly qualified for jobs so they can't get work, many various reasons. Homeless people are just that - people

How about assuming something because of the way they're dressed? A few days ago someone assumed I was in the military because I had a certain "physique" and was dressed in workout clothes. Why they assumed that? I have no idea. How about the opposite direction? What if I had been dressed in a short jean skirt and tank-top? The assumption would have been much different.

I've seen people judged for being on birth control. Well why not? They're obviously having sex... right?     There's multiple health reasons someone could be on birth control medication. Health reasons. Not necessarily sex reasons.

I wear a ring on my left hand. Its my Nanna's ring that she gave me over 10 years ago. I rarely go without it. No, its not a wedding ring. Its not a purity ring. Its a simple gold ring, with special sentimental value, and it reminds me not to settle for anything less than the best. My Nanna didn't, why should I? Not to mention it doesn't fit on any of my other fingers lol

Jesus didn't assume things. Of course, He already knew everything, like with the woman at the well. He already knew she had 5 different men, and in fact, none of them were her husband. But did He judge? No. He welcomed her into God's loving embrace, and shared the gospel with her. Can we really be completely like Christ? Of course not, but isn't that what being a Christian is all about: being like Christ? That should be our goal in life, to live like Christ. We should strive to be the the perfect reflection.

Sometimes people need to stop assuming, stop making judgments, and start Minding Your Own P's & Q's. 

The "Feminization" of Men

"He's so emotional." 

"He's a little too in touch with his feminine side." 

"There are no good guys out there. They're either the 'bad boys' or 'verging on gay.' Why can't I just find a good guy?" 

"Where have all the real men gone?"

My friends.... You asked them to be more like women!! 

"I don't want you to fix it, I just want you to listen!"

"Why can't you be more romantic honey?"

"Why can't you be more sensitive?" 

"You never talk to me, what are you thinking about?"

Women have confused the heck out of Men!

Women have started to act more like men and it all started with the feminist movements in 1848. Although the first convention dealt with women having the right to vote (which I am completely for), the feminist movements eventually became about equality in the business world, and women having the capability of doing everything a man can do. And in turn, women have forced men to start having female emotional qualities. 

Can women do everything a man can do? Sure. Should they? No. 

I sometimes wonder why on earth females get offended when the guy opens the car door for them, or holds the door, or offers to carry something for her. What is so offensive about that? He's not saying you can't do it. He's being a gentleman, and not making you do it.

So again, the question is raised: "Where have all the real men gone?" 

God created men and women to be different, for different purposes. He gave men certain qualities, and women equally important, but different, qualities. If men and women were created the same, good Lord in Heaven, we'd have a boring world. 

Think about it this way. A group of 10 executives are working on improving their company. However, all 10 executives were brought up in the exact same community, they grew up going to church, school, daycare, etc., TOGETHER. Their family mindset is the same, their values are the same, beliefs are the same. Because of the nature of their background, the executives cannot move forward with the improvements. There are no new ideas brought to the table, no new perspectives to glean from, no "outside experience." STALEMATE. 

Newsflash: Men & Women are supposed to be different! 

Someone told me the other day that she can talk to her boyfriend for over 3 hours on the phone. Why on earth would you want to do that? I can understand if you don't see each other very often, long distance relationships, school breaks, etc. But EVERY DAY?! When do you get everything else done in your life? I sometimes wonder how much of the talking he actually does... 

Men are not talkative beings. They don't need it, nor do they bond by verbal communication. Women however, crave conversation, they thrive off it. To women, a 3 hour phone conversation could mean that a man is extremely interested in her. To men, it might just mean he wasted 3 hours on the phone.  

Instead of having girlfriends who fill our need for conversation, and the emotional sides of our lives, we have molded men to fit into that role now. 

But men, you're not off the hook either. It all started with Sadie Hawkins and her dad. I'm sure you've heard the story... women have started to take over the dating world. And men, you've sat back and allowed them to do so. Some women believe they have the right to ask a guy out. But then where do the roles reverse? "If she asks, then she pays. But if she pays, does she pick you up? Does she get you at your front door? Where does it end -- when she carries you over the threshold? When do you become the man so she gets back to being the woman -- when she gets pregnant? It won't work. Take back your manhood and find a woman to ask out." 

Yes, girls can be pushy and very assertive when getting a guy. BUT, if men stepped up their game, maybe the roles wouldn't need to be reversed. Afraid of rejection? Don't be! So one girl doesn't want to go out with you. Take a step back, and revise the way you asked her, and try again with someone else! There are 6 billion people in the world. One of them is bound to accept the date ;) 

So where have all the real men gone? We've made them disappear, fade into the woodwork, and smothered them

"The truth is guys, that every woman, whether she will admit it or not, wants to be chased. It's as ancient as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Women have a deep desire to be so beautiful that men would search the ends of the earth for them, fight for them, and yes, even risk rejection for them. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man she's interested in being sure enough of himself to ask her out." (Haley DiMarco, Marriable). 

The Three C's

"The proper female is efficient in the 3 C's -- Cooking, Cleaning, and Conceiving." Oh can I still hear my friend teasing me the first time I heard of this old adage. Well... surprise. The C's I'm thinking about are not just for women, but for men too!

Confidence
Compassion
Courage


Let's talk about confidence - 
The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. 


Confidence is a state of mind, not a reality. You don't have to BE confident to ACT confident. Do you smile when you walk into a room, OR do you timidly try to blend into the wallpaper? (are there even houses with wallpaper anymore?!) Do you accept compliments when they are given, OR do you roll your eyes and blow them off? Do you find yourself attractive, OR do you have to tear others down to make yourself feel better? (is this you? Check out That Gossip Girl) Do you laugh at yourself when you make a mistake or do something embarrassing, OR do you make others feel awkward by making a scene? Do you constantly fish for compliments, OR do you realize you're exactly who God created you to be and you're a one-of-a-kind person? 
But on the flip side; are you so confident that you don't allow others to do things for you? Are you cocky instead of confident? You're so self-assured and capable that you don't need anyone or anything else in your life? 
Girls: Do you ever let a guy open a jar, or soda for you "just because" even though you know, eventually, you will get it open? Sometimes its nice to make the guy feel needed (altho he'd never admit it lol). Do you let guys open the door for you, even though you are perfectly capable of opening it yourself? Don't just stand there awkwardly and wait until the next guy comes along 10 minutes later, but if he's in front of you, by all means SMILE and graciously say thank you. 
Guys: Do you ever let a girl in on a problem in your life, or maybe *dramatic gasp* ask her for advice? Women LOVE to talk! Maybe you won't end up taking their advice, and you certainly don't have to go into extreme detail, but it doesn't hurt to ASK! Girls love when a guy thinks her advice or input is wanted. Who knows, maybe you'll be surprised and gain some insight from her ramblings. 


Remember: Everyone else is or was at one point in their life, just as scared and insecure as you are. 
As one author put it, "confidence isn't about being all cocky and self-assured; it's about being holy and giving a rip about other people."


How about some compassion. Do you have a servant's heart? 

 For you have been called to live in freedom --

not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, 

but to serve one another in love. 

Galatians 5:13 NLT

This is where confidence can actually trip you up. "We are all made to serve one another, but if I never allow you to serve me, then I will never allow you to fulfill the command of God on your life." Allow others to do things for you, but don't be afraid to DO THINGS FOR OTHERS. Proverbs 15:28 says the godly think before speaking... do you speak with compassion? Sometimes it's better to keep quiet than anything else. A truly beautiful and confident girl givers her tongue a rest. That means that she shuts up! Guys aren't going to go after a girl that is constantly harping on others and putting others down. You can take Mark 9:35 to heart -- "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." 

And last but not least, courage. 

One of the most attractive things I find in a person is when they are willing to stand up for something they believe in. However, this go go really well, or really bad. Really well is when it's being used for GOOD, and can build people up, push people, and encourage a person to expand their views. But the really bad side is, well, BAD. It tears another person's beliefs down, and begins to attack the person (ad hominem). 

Do you have the courage to be yourself, and stand up for what you believe? 

Maybe for a girl, that means picking out your outfit without consulting five other girls that are going to the party. For example, "Ginger" and I were both going to the same small get-together with mutual male friends. She called about an hour before the party and asked me what I was wearing. When I replied "white shorts and a tank top," she said, "Oh... I was going to wear MY white shorts... are you sure you want to wear them too?" I had to laugh, because the only reason I picked them was because they were on the top of my clean laundry pile. I couldn't have cared less what I wore that night, but I could tell she reeeeally wanted me to change. Don't worry about what everyone else is wearing. Wear something that YOU are comfortable in, and that makes YOU feel good!
For a guy, maybe it means taking a day off from bragging about yourself and your accomplishments. "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness" 2 Cor 11:30. Paul isn't saying to go around and complain about things you can't do... but maybe think about aspects of your life that could use a little work. Get input from people on how you can improve in those areas. Eat a little piece of humble pie. 

Don't forget: You were made in God's image, so you MUST have been made right. 

What Takes My Heart Captive

As you can probably tell if you've been following my blog... I love children. I grew up around kids, I helped raise my youngest sibling, I grew up babysitting, and have been involved in a children's ministry for the past 15 years. Needless to say... these children hold my heart. Especially during the summer. They fill my thoughts, my prayers, my heart and my life. I know that not everyone is able to support the ministry financially, but I'd like to take a moment to ask you... will you pray for me as I undertake this ministry again for the 5th summer? It is prayer warriors like yourself that keep me going throughout the long summer days. 

Dear Family and Friends,

I am finally able to say, that I am a senior in Liberty University’s nursing program. I have just returned from my 3^rd year at Liberty, and CEF has once again asked me to be the summer missionary for Lebanon County. While talking to one of my friends the other day, I realized that this will be my 15^th year involved in CEF. How time does fly! I am very excited to start my fifth summer working with CEF as a summer missionary. The clubs are very dear to my heart and the excitement on the children’s faces when they hear the Bible lessons, and missionary story is incredible.

Throughout the years I’ve worked with CEF, I have come into contact with countless children. Sadly, it is impossible for me to remember each one by name, but I know I was able to make an impact. I will never forget one specific little boy that touched my heart. While sharing the wordless book, I realized that one of the two boys I was talking to was Muslim. When I had gotten to the gold page and was talking about Heaven, he stopped me and said “This is so weird. I was just thinking about this last night, wondering if I will go to Heaven someday.” I told him maybe God was answering my prayer, and that’s why I was talking to him right then. Ahmed was so close to accepting Christ as his Savior. I was just about to ask him if he’d like to pray, when he got a scared look on his face and said I have to go. I gave him a Jesus Loves you tract, but I still remember him looking back over his shoulder as he ran through the gate to his house. Leaving Ahmed there that day was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I am praying that someone, somewhere, felt the same burden I do for these children and was able to reach little Ahmed for Christ.

Last year during one specific club, I had the awesome privilege of leading two brothers to Christ. The older brother Aiden broke down into tears as he was talking to me and said his parents were getting divorced and he didn’t know what would happen. He quietly told me it felt like his Dad didn’t love him anymore. I was able to explain to him about the Father who would always love him, and never leave him. He accepted Christ as his personal Savior that day, and was able to smile through his tears when he realized that even though his earthly father might not always be there for him, God the Father would never leave him.

            I am very excited to begin my ministry this summer. On June 10, I will begin my two week training to become a summer missionary again. Throughout those two weeks my schedule will be filled with learning the various materials for the summer. In previous years, I have been a Prayer Captain, which is the prayer leader of the dorm of four other girls. This year I again have been given the privilege of being student staff as well. Although our phone usage and other technology use is limited we are permitted to receive mail during the two weeks of training school. If you would like to write to me the address is:        

Meagan Gerberich

c/o Mt. View Bible Camp

2671 Snydertown Rd

Danville, PA 17821

            Just as I have the past four years, I am taking on this ministry by faith concerning my financial needs. I will need both financial and prayer support.  While I will receive 90% of what comes into my account, the remaining 10% will go towards my training, teaching materials, and travel expenses. Will you please consider showing God’s faithfulness by supporting me financially? The CEF County Office is located at 637 Chestnut Street, Lebanon, PA, 17042. If sending in donations by check please remit to “Child Evangelism Fellowship.” The “MG” on the envelope or memo line will indicate that it is for my account, please do not address the check to me  because of IRS standards.  The CEF organization is asking that all donations be in their office by August 12, which is my last day of ministry due to leaving for college the following week.

            By prayerfully and financially supporting my ministry you will play a very important role in reaching children with God’s Word. Your partnership can bring about eternal investments in the Kingdom of God. Thank you for any help you can give to me in this very important ministry.

                                                            In Christ,

        Meagan Gerberich

That Gossip Girl

Gossip: noun. Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Some would take this definition and run with it... saying that "as long as the information is true, then I'm not gossiping." Still others would say, as long as they're not actively participating in said conversation then its not wrong. I've also heard it said that as long as you're just venting to one person its not gossip. Or what about the reasoning "I'm just trying to talk through my problems." I've also had experiences where prayer groups/meetings and people in spiritual leadership positions have been the initiators of gossip. I can just imagine those prayer request slips being opened and discussed among those in "leadership." So and so has a problem with this? Oh my, no wonder ____ said ______ about her. And the conversation goes on... down a rabbit trail... with no end in sight.

Gossip ruins friendships, relationships, job opportunities, campaigns, Bible studies, leadership teams, churches... it can destroy anything.

I'm not saying I haven't taken part in gossip before, I believe that everyone has at one point, girl and guy alike. Its wrong. Period. Will we ever get away from it? Probably not. Its not a debbie downer look at life, its just a fact of life. People are sinners, and people love to talk. Its going to happien. Recently I've had some experience with "gossipers." During a particular conversation, I was listening to someone vent about a mutual friend of ours. I knew that anything I said confirming or denying her statements during this vent session could and would be used in the future against me. (sheesh I sound like a lawyer) Anyways, because of this, I said nothing, I just listened. Was this taking part in gossip? By some standards, maybe.
Although I wasn't actually participating in the gossip by actively giving feedback and telling more information about the mutual friend. If I had taken anything she said and made it change my opinion of the other friend, then yes, I was participating in the gossip. Did I allow her thoughts and opinions change my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and friendship with the other person? No. If anything it made the friendship stronger.  

On the flip side of this topic, I have also been the subject of said gossip. Was I supposed to find out the things that were being said? No, of course not. 99% of the time the subject of gossip is not supposed to hear what is being discussed. Does that make it less hurtful? No. What was being said actually hurt me, a lot. Even the adults that were part of this situation played the busybody gossip wives. The stories that came back to me from those women's mouths... sheesh. What do they take me for?

Back to the subject at hand... the way I look at things....
If I wouldn't say it to the person's face... then I don't say it at all.
If I wouldn't want it being said about me... then I don't say it at all.
If I wouldn't want those facts to be known about me... then I don't say it at all.
If the person told me the information in confidence... then I don't say it at all.
And so on... Get the picture?

As a friend said in his blog... Christianity is losing its beauty. Not because the truth of Christianity is failing. God's Gospel NEVER Fails. Its because the Christians of today are falling into the temptations of this world. They are losing the Hope that Christ alone can give them.

On the Brink

It has been a crazy week... like my best friend said.... my life is a sitcom.

This week so far has been awesome and challenging. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I've been able to get up and go to the gym every morning, do my devotions, and then spend the day at the lake reading and swimming. Idyllic right? Some things happened today that made me realize... I'm standing on the brink... on the brink of something new. Something awesome. Something that I cannot even imagine.

What it is?

I have no clue.


This morning I was getting ready for my devotions, and the daily Bible verse that came to my phone was good, but for some reason I flipped to the book of Revelation. Why, I have no earthly idea. But God knew. This passage made me think about my future.

I know your deeds, that you have a name

that you are alive, but you are dead. 

Wake up and strengthen the things that remain, 

which are about to die; 

for I have not found your deeds completed

 in the sight of God. 

Revelation 3:1-2

I am not fully living yet, because I'm still working on doing His will. I know I'm on the right track, and in the right place, and finally I'm on HIS timetable instead of mine. In the last two weeks, God changed my entire plan, and I am now back to graduating in May of 2013 like I was originally supposed to. I had been praying for a cut and dry answer as to what I should do, and He answered. 

I'm so excited to see what my future is going to hold. Who is going to be in it, and where I will end up this time next year. Maybe I'll revisit this blog post and see what God has done in that time. He isn't finished with me yet. This summer with the children's ministry, I cannot wait to see how He is going to use me and work through me. 

I'm the Youngest I'll Ever Be and the Oldest I've Ever Been

Today is my birthday...

It is now 2:10am and I can't sleep, which isn't the greatest thing in the world because I have to be up for class in less than four hours. This insomnia might have something to do with the 5 cups of extra strength coffee I had... after 9:30pm.... just maybe. I think I'm addicted to coffee.

Today I added a new folder to my documents tab... SENIOR YEAR. 

I'm taking a summer class... and I'm officially a senior now, even though I've had senior status since 1st semester sophomore year. How? I have no clue. For four hours last night I worked on my genetics project for one of my nursing classes. I'm taking an entire semester's worth of one class... in 5 days. Crazy right? Anyways, its the second time I've done a Pedigree project, but the first time I hand drew it. This time we were required to make it online. Talk about a headache. Four hours later, I finally finished the dumb thing... and this is only page 1/4 of the assignment. There's a 2 page chart that I didn't bother to take a picture of.

This picture isn't centered... and its going to bug the bejeebies out of me. 

So far I've gotten some pretty cool birthday presents and messages. My mom sent me one at midnight saying "Dappy Hirth Bay." I love my Mom. 

In the present department, I got an awesome Ted Dekker book called THR3E. Although I wouldn't recommend reading it when you're alone at your creepy apartment for 3 days straight. I got a knife, a new coffee mug that was specially made for me, writing paper, pens, coffee, envelopes and stamps. 

My little brother called me today and asked what I got him for Mother's Day. And in a tribute to my Mom... I've seriously got the best Mom in the world. She is my hero, one of the strongest women I've ever known, and a Godly woman I strive to be like. 

I decided to look at my blog stats today... in the past 14 days... 80 people from Russia viewed my blog... 80 people from the US viewed my blog... and 1 person from Alaska as well. How cool is it that people around the world are (hopefully) being impacted by my random musings. My God is AWESOME. 

It is now 2:35am. If i'm lucky, I can get about 3.5 hours of sleep before my 8.5 hour class starts. Can I please just go curl up in a hole and sleep the next week away? Anyone want to join me in this short-term hibernation?




In closing for this random post... I will leave you with my daily Bible verse that came on my phone just now. Yea, they decide to send it at 2am every morning.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

I guess you could say this is going to be a random blog post with my ramblings while I'm sitting at work. A reflection over the past year I suppose...

This was the hardest most difficult year I've ever been through to say the least. It challenged me physically, emotionally, mentally, academically, and spiritually. I've grown so much this past year though, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've met some amazing people, lost some people, and made some pretty legit new friends.

In August of 2011 I arrived back at school after vacation.... ready to dive right in to Junior year of nursing school. I was taking a peds class and doing clinicals in Richmond, VA at St. Mary's Hospital. I fell in love with the hospital and the people that work there. Potential job possibility? Maybe. I survived first semester by the skin of my teeth. That was academically. Emotionally and mentally I went through a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Like I said... one of the hardest years I've ever been though. During that semester, I asked myself the question... Do you really fall in and out of love? Or does that love simply change? I'm still not sure if I know the answer to that question... if you've got any insight I'd love to hear it.

Because of some new friends that I made, I was able to try new things, see more of Lynchburg than I ever knew existed, and actually begin to feel like a college kid that got to have fun. So thank you, if you took part in any of those things. You know who you are, there are too many people to name.



Over Christmas break, I worked a crazy ton of hours. I think my last tally was 110 hours in 3 weeks. I did night shift, early morning shift, and anything in between. Now that I look back, I was nuts. But I loved it. I got to spend time with my family, and my little man, Ross. It never gets easier saying goodbye, but coming home is just that much sweeter because of him.

I got to spend a day in D.C. with a good friend, cooking, freezing our tails off walking around the city, and walking along the water in some sketch location. For about the course of a few days after I got home, I swear my life became a sit-com. The movie title 50 First Dates comes to mind... I'm not sure why though because I definitely didn't go on 50 dates!!! So many awkward stories and things happened, I can't even begin to tell. Some funny stories about old people and them trying to match-make come to mind.

96 year old lady: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "Ummm no, I think I should probably have a boyfriend before that thought process happens."
96 year old lady: "Hmmph. You should get on that. My wheelchair van driver is single..."
He arrives and is like 30 something with a beer belly and balding... NO THANKS.

Coming back for second semester... I got to spend an entire week with my best friend taking a New Testament intensive. What a BLAST. We hung out with some pretty cool people, and had a ton of fun packed into the week before actual classes started. I also began my 2nd job that week, working with an elderly lady who has Alzheimer's disease. A challenge, but so rewarding. The semester started off with a bang, jumping right into clinicals in the Emergency Department where I fell in love with it!!! Had some crazy cool experiences with patients, level one traumas, and meeting some really awesome people, and also finding out some bad news during one of those clinicals. One of the lady's I did my CSER with for over a year had passed away... becasue of this news I got to feel the love and encouragement from my clinical group. Bonding with my clinical group was one of the best things ever. 

During this semester... somewhere right after Christmas... I got the brilliant idea to kill myself and graduate early. I was working two jobs, taking 17 credits, and was going insane. Everything was falling into place for me to graduate in December of 2012, 6 months early. I would have completed the nursing program in 3.5 years without transferring any credits in. Right before Spring Break some people walked into my life and some people walked out. Those people have become very dear to me, and have forever changed my life, the other people, are missing out. Spring Bring was an awesome experience with a road trip down to Florida with 4 amazing girls. We had such a blast, met some really neat people, and were completely sun-burnt and exhausted when we returned.

After Spring break, school returned to a semblance of normalcy, if you can call Nursing school "normal." I started long-boarding again, wrecked up a few times, but had a ton of fun. I've figured out I need to learn to carve... which basically means turn. I've got the scars to prove that I'm working on it. I pulled the first all-nighter of my college career. NEVER AGAIN. I say that now.... but it'll probably happen again. We sat and talked in a church breezeway, had a glow stick war, made and drank 3 pots of coffee, had homemade pancakes at 5am, then stayed up to be at work by 8am the next morning. It was exhausting, but I got to know a very special person a lot better that night, which made it all worth it, and I got coffee and a muffin out of the deal the next morning.

Next on the list was the SGA election for Student Body President and VP. I had such a fun time campaigning... even though it was early mornings... late nights... and no naps! Everyone's hard work paid off, and Chad & Josh won the election.



Since then, end of year tests are done, finals have come and gone, but God has gotten me through. I have moved 3 times this semester, and I'll be moving again in the next two weeks hopefully. I'm venturing out and trying something new, I'll be living on my own, in MY apartment. Scary, intimidating, terrifying, exhilarating, and exciting. I'm having so much fun planning out room arrangements and decorations. I sign the lease hopefully this coming week. On another note, over the past week or two I've been having second thoughts about graduating early. Was it really worth it? Would I miss out on my last year of college? All sorts of questions were running through my mind. I started taking it to God in prayer. I told him he'd have to make it really obvious if I wasn't supposed to graduate in December, because all the plans had been made. My schedule was chosen, classes were paid for, and everything was lined up. BUT God had other plans. As of right now I will be finishing nursing school in May of 2013 like I originally planned. And I'm ok with that, because its what God clearly showed me I'm supposed to be doing. He's going to use me right here in Lynchburg, and then I'll start off my career and the rest of my life on May 11, of 2013.

I'm excited to see who God is going to bring into my life in this next year. Which people will walk in, and which people will walk out of my life. The relationships I have right now with people, will they grow? Will they remain as they are? Will they turn into something more? I don't know, but He does. More importantly I'm excited to see how my relationship with Christ will grow and change.

I don't know what the future holds... but I know Who holds MY future.

Music for the Soul

Today... was not a good day. Actually today was a horrible day. Over the course of the past two weeks, my life has completely turned upside-down, inside-out, and side-ways.... but tomorrow it will hopefully be right-side-up again.





After having a completely awful day... I had to go work with the elderly lady I take care of. Not a huge deal, I just didn't feel like being around people, talking, or anything. I arrived, and since it was a torrential down-pour, we couldn't even go for our usual 2 mile walk. Not a Good Thing! So I threw some cookies in the oven, and made dinner for us. After we ate, I re-painted her nails, did mine (Even though I effectively ruined them today because of everything that went on and they were getting so long too! I'm not bitter at all though. *sarcasm*).

We went to sit in the living room, and for some weird reason, I decided I'd play the piano for her. Biggest blessing of my life happened. She had two hymnals sitting on the top, so I started flipping through them and playing random songs. For a bit of background, I have played piano for 18 years, and it is a huge stress-reliever for me. While away at college I hardly ever get to play the piano... which isn't good because it'd relieve stress. But why would I need that? Nursing school isn't stressful at all.

Anyways, so I start playing the first song, I think it was What a Friend We Have in Jesus. And "Frenchie" as my good friend dubbed her after my phone auto-corrected her real name, started singing along. For almost an hour, she and I sat in her living room and sang hymns at the top of our lungs. My throat is raw because of it, but it did my heart good to be praising my Savior, just because.


A new goal was also added to my Bucket List: Own a grand or baby grand piano someday.
It WILL happen.
 

The Salt Test

I cannot take credit for any of this post... it is a direct copy and paste from my devotional this morning... but it was really powerful and struck a cord in me. It deserved to be shared. 

You are the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13, NLT).

Dear Friends:

In a previous message, I shared some insights about the late J. C. Penney, a remarkable man and a personal friend.

Penney believed in doing business according to the words of our Lord and the principles of the Golden Rule. To Penney, the Golden Rule represented more than a marketing strategy. It represented his deep philosophical and religious beliefs learned from his father, a Baptist minister. As an expression of the Golden Rule, he insisted on offering customers quality merchandise at the lowest possible prices. Eventually the Golden Rule name he used was phased out and the stores were named JCPenney.

For many years, Penney was active in a church layman's movement and made many appearances before churches and laymen's groups stressing the importance of applying the Golden Rule to the everyday tasks of business.

But Penney also believed in a unique executive hiring criterion: the "salt test."

When selecting new managers, the founder of one of the nation's largest retail chains often took the candidates out to eat where he scrutinized their behavior. Many passed the inspection, but others were disqualified by violating Penney's cardinal rule: "Never salt your food before tasting it."

Salting before tasting, Penny believed, revealed the flaw of making decisions without information. If you are going to use a strong flavor enhancer, he reasoned, you must first know your food.

Of course, using salt as a hiring test is a debatable methodology, yet we can agree with J.C. Penny on at least this much: Salt changes the taste of what it touches.

Salt is not neutral. It adds flavor and appeal. It penetrates and transforms the character of food. As a preservative, it prolongs the life of food which otherwise would perish.

This is what our Lord had in mind when he said to His followers: "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men" (Matthew 5:13, NIV).

As the "salt of the earth," we Christians have the power to change the world. By being Christ's witnesses and salt, we can help influence the flavor of people's lives and enhance their relationships. We can help preserve morality in a decaying society.

Let us not lose our saltiness and be trampled by the world's philosophies and values, but instead, like salt, let us penetrate and transform the character of life around us.

Yours for fulfilling the Great Commission
each year until our Lord returns,

Bill Bright