The Heart's Challenge

Its storming outside... and I'm by myself. I'm slightly freaked out, but its okay, because I know I need this time to myself.

Even though I live off-campus, two of my best friends still live on campus. Ironically, more often than not, I'm in their dorm more than anywhere else. For the past few weeks their hall has been doing something called the Heart's Challenge. Every week there are two things that they have to go without -- for an entire week. Last week it was caffeine and music, the week before it was riding the bus and makeup.This week the challenge is to give up facebook and sweets. In order to empathize with them (and partly so that I could complain with them and not just listen to them complain), I have said goodbye to facebook. Let's be real people, I'm a facebook addict. I cannot tell you how many times I have thought about getting on it, just in the past 24 hours. 

But I got a reality check today. 

Do our lives really revolve around an online page that shares things with the whole world? I began asking myself today how many thoughts and comments are put on facebook that really shouldn't be said. Some of the times I caught myself today -- I wondered after the fact what in the world I was thinking. Why would I put something like that online? To get a few likes, or maybe some comments? I'm not going to go onto a pedestal about what should and shouldn't be posted on facebook - because its not my place. But I will say that just today, I have used my time much more wisely than before -- and realized how much time I really wasted.



Because I gave up facebook, I've had a little more time on my hands. Time to do more important things. One of the things that I was able to do is go through the 300 pictures I ordered a few weeks ago. They've been sitting in a box in my living room for about 3 weeks now. The memories that I had forgotten about, the people that I shared them with. Most of the pictures were my family, and specifically my little brother Ross. I'm still amazed at how much love you can have for someone. I love him as much as if he were my own, and granted, I helped raise him during my last two years of high school. He's my baby, He's my Little Man.



When I went away to college, he was a year and a half old and barely talking.  The screen saver on our home computer was my senior pictures, and my mom told me he'd sit there and watch them. When I'd call home, they'd let him listen to my voice, and later my mom would describe the way his face would light up hearing me. One day my sister got the brilliant idea to tell him I lived in the computer. Once he started talking though, it didn't stop. It was October of my freshman year the first time he said "Hi Meme" on the phone to me. (Yes, I know Meme means grandma, but that's what my little sister and now Ross called me because they couldn't say my name). Now he can't stop talking to me when I call. Sometimes I'll hear my mom in the background telling him to give her the phone, and then I hear pounding feet and giggling as he's running around the house keeping it away. He'll then stop and ask "Meagan, can you still talk to me?" It breaks my heart to say I can't keep talking.




Maybe instead of facebook today...
I'll have a phone date with my Little Man.

Crazy Straws or Straight Ones?

So, I have to admit.... this blog has nothing to do with straws. Hopefully it'll get the message across and tie in at the end. This post was a bit harder for me to write than some of the others... mostly because it is more personal for me. But I have seen this issue over and over again... and it has really been impressed upon my heart to write about it tonight.



Have you ever wanted to change something about yourself? Your hair, your eyes, how tall (or short) you are? I remember back in high school I hated my hair -- hated that it was curly and there was nothing I could do about it. Once too often there had been snide remarks made about it. One specific time "Sam," not knowing that I could hear her, said "she looks like a poodle." As I walked through the door, she turns around, her jaw drops open and she says "Oh my gosh, I'm soo sorry, I didn't know you would hear that." C'mon... I was in the next room right outside the door and the ceilings were open rafters in the cabin. The saying goes "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." How untrue that statement really is. I've gotten over what she and some of the girls said... but I will never forget it. It never ceases to amaze me how snide and nasty girls can get when you don't look "perfect."


Speaking of perfect... how about our bodies girls? Ever wanted to change something about that? More specifically... those numbers that come up blinking red on the scale? Those horrible numbers. But when did numbers on a scale ever define who a person is?


Your beauty and your worth is not how much you weigh.
It doesn't matter if there are two numbers on that scale or three.
YOU are MORE than NUMBERS on a SCALE.



This next part is something that not many people know about me... but it began my Sophomore/Junior year of high school... I'm not even sure what triggered it. I started to be very conscious of what I ate. Not  starving myself... but not necessarily eating as much as I should and could. At this point in my life I was working about 20 hours a week, trying to keep up with school, taking art, voice, and piano lessons, doing TI competition, and participating in the local high school band, choir, and musical. I was busy, I was stressed, and I was lonely. Sometimes I'd get so busy I'd forget to eat... or simply didn't. This went on for some time. After a while I realized that this issue could get way out of hand if I kept on like I was. It kind of hit me that I wasn't treating my body with respect.

God hadn't GIVEN my body to me... He was letting me BORROW it to do His work during my life. 

Once I realized this I snapped out of this fog that I had been living in. It was ridiculous now that I think about it. I'd get migraines from not eating properly, I wouldn't be able to focus on my school work, the list could go on.  Now, yes, I'm health conscious... I eat healthy food... but I can hold my own if you put a package of Oreos in front of me. Do I sit around all day doing nothing? No, I love to run - preferably outside, and going to the gym is a stress reliever for me. I don't do it because I HAVE to, or because I need to lose weight. I do it because I enjoy the exercise and the workouts.

The media today plays a huge part in the way women look at themselves. With photoshop and editing features -- the artists can alter one's appearance drastically. About 75% of the time the finished product, doesn't even look like the original model. Did you know that the average model today is less than half the size of models 20 or 30 years ago? Marilyn Monroe was a women's size 12/14. And she was and is considered one of the most beautiful actresses known. YOU are worth MORE than the size of your clothing!! What happened to change our view of our bodies? What happened to men liking "curvy" women? Oh, they like curves alright... those curves are ribs showing through skin and protruding hip and shoulder bones.

Even the little girls are being bombarded with clothing sizes and appearance. Did you know that if the original Barbie of the 90s was life-size she would be so disproportionate she'd have to crawl around on all-fours? She would also be physically incapable of holding her head up because it is so much larger than her neck. Now I know there are some Christian families out there that do not allow their daughters to play with Barbies. They say it will make her think differently of her body image. And that's all fine and good... its the parent's discretion. I did not come from said family... on the contrary... I had boxes full of Barbies that my best friend and I played with for hours on end. But I didn't want to look like Barbie - she wore too much make-up and looked fake! (those were my exact thoughts as child). I remember the "special occasions" when my mom would bring out her old Barbie dolls from the 1960s and let me play with them. They looked SO weird! But as I was surfing the web with a friend a few days ago we came across the following picture... 

What the heck is wrong with our culture people?! We're brainwashing the future women of America and getting them to starve themselves so they'll look like Barbie dolls?! Something is WRONG with this!


There's a quote that says "I used to skinny dip.... Now I chunky dunk." That's hysterical... if the female listening takes it that way.

For the Guys: If you're reading this... have you ever made one of the following comments to a girlfriend, sister, or female friend?
When picking her up: "Man you're heavy."
"Have you gained weight?"
"You've got a little pooch."
"You've got cushion for the pushin."
"You have love handles."
Be careful what you say... even if its in a joking manner... the smallest little comment or joke can have a girl thinking and twisting it in her mind. Now is it your fault that she twists it? No, of course not. But by simply being careful what you say -- can make a huge difference in some girl's life. It may have been a perfectly innocent comment... but to her... your opinion may mean the world.

So be the crazy straw (with curves) in the world of straight ones. Be confident in who you are.

In my oh so short lifetime... I have found that the most beautiful women -- are the confident ones. The women who are not necessarily a size 0 or even a size 2 or 4. They are confident because they know that they are worth something.

YOU are worth something.
YOU are worth MUCH MORE than the numbers on a scale.
YOU are worth MUCH MORE than the numbers on clothes.


 

Color Your World

                                                                              Candid photo taken by Lauren Mosset.

Have you ever had one of "those days" where everything seems to be going wrong? This past week seemed like that for me... the song lyrics "Cause You Had a Bad Day" keep coming to mind when I think about it. I had gone off coffee completely, and I had decided to go a week without sweets. Nothing seemed to be going right, at various times I would find myself in a horrible mood. Certain things set me off and some things happened throughout the week that weren't very pleasant. People said some things, and I let it affect me more than I should have.  


Now however, after the fact... I'm looking back and remembering things and I'm laughing about them.

• Text messages that were misinterpreted or misread and the wrong reply was sent -- Now it makes for a hilarious story. 
• Someone you thought was a friend, but you find out they believe something about you that isn't true -- Now I laugh that the person would honestly believe that about me. 
• Awkward situations that you only see in movies -- I laugh because I couldn't have done anything differently or prevented the situation from happening. 
• Someone bashing me for things, and in essence "talking smack" for lack of a better term -- I can laugh because I later overhear her saying they're jealous of my life -- the one where I take 18 credits and work 30 hours a week. Why they're jealous? That is beyond my scope of imagination.

But as I sit and think about the week... I'm also remembering the good things that happened. Simple little things that I never gave second thought to during the week. 
Random Walmart trip with Brooke to pick up a large back of M&Ms just because. Vent sessions where you end up laughing at how ridiculous the situation sounds. Hanging out with friends and laughing about inside jokes. Watching videos in the Science Lab and laughing so hard our sides hurt. Talking with my mom as she's giving advice... and laughing at her ridiculous fake "suggestions." 


All of these things happened because other people cared enough to bring laughter into my world at a time when I needed it. If you've brought color into my life this past week, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. But when someone you know is feeling down do you go down to their level or do you try to bring them up? Send a little text message. Google search a goofy quote that makes them smile. Bring a little color into their world. 


God made laughter for a reason... he wants us to be happy and joyful. Not just surface happiness but that joy deep down inside of you that bubbles up from within. 


A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the soul.
~Proverbs 17:22~


He will fill your mouth with laughter.
~Job 8:21~ 


Make a Joyful Noise unto the Lord. 
~Psalm 100:1~


I would consider laughter a joyful noise (weird laughs excluded lol). 

Laughter is what bring Color to the World... Go out and Color someone's World. 

In the Blink of an Eye

Teach me to number my days,
And count every moment, before it slips away.
Take in all the colors, before they fade to gray.

It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash,
It happens in the time it takes to look back.
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time,
What is it I've done with my life?


You know when people are talking about a near death experience they've had, they always say "I saw my life flash before my eyes." I had never really understood that... until last night. About 6:30, I was heading to Tilley to meet a friend. I got there just fine after work, and was walking towards the doors. Knowing me, my biggest concern was trying not to slip as I walked down the embankment... little did I know what was going to happen next. It was already dark outside, and raining slightly. As I got to the bottom of the hill, I noticed a car turning onto the through-way in front of the main gym doors. I knew I had enough time to get across, and I also knew that they would see me and have enough time to slow down just in case. I was about half-way across when I looked up and realized the car had begun to accelerate after rounding the corner and was less than 10 feet away, coming straight towards me. As this was all registering in my head, I froze for a split second and couldn't move. I guess the phrase "deer caught in the headlights" fit the situation pretty well. In these few seconds as I stood frozen in the middle of the road, with headlights coming straight at me, hundreds of thoughts were running through my head. I didn't know if I'd make it out of the way. It felt like 10 minutes, but it had to have only been 10 seconds. The car was less than 6 inches away as I jumped out of the way. I was too shaken to stop, but as I looked back at the driver, he had his cell phone in his hand and was looking out the passenger window. When he finally stopped, his car was right where I had been standing 10 seconds earlier.


During those few moments when I was frozen to the road, hundreds of thoughts ran through my head. Now I understand when people say "my life flashed before my eyes." For me, it did. I saw my brother, on the day he was born 4 years ago and the times he and I played over Christmas break last month. I saw my sister, who is now 15, when she was little and I'd dress her up like she was my favorite doll baby. I saw my other brothers when we'd blow up the old water mattress with air, and launch each other out of the corner. I saw my parents who have always been there for me no matter what the circumstance, and no matter how much I mess up. I saw my grandparents, and remembered the times when I was 5 and 6 years old when my Poppop would sneak me a cup of coffee at the Truck Stop when Nanna went to the bathroom. When my Nanna would make me special pancake shapes when I got to sleep over. I saw the friends that I have made here in the last 3 years.

After I got inside, I was waiting on my friend. I just sat there on the couch for a good 10 minutes. Right then and there it hit me that I could have died in that moment. I know that I am ready to die, because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ -- but how many people do not have that assurance? This event made me stop and think, and put things into perspective. What are my goals right now? For the next year? For 5 years from now?

Right now? I want to pass my classes, and enjoy the rest of my time in college, because it is going by way too quickly.  I want to laugh at the little things like my friend coming into my office at 9am in his pajamas cuz he didn't feel like getting dressed. I was to strengthen the friendships I already have, and develop new friendships with people that I may already know, or with people that I have yet to meet. I want to find a church that I can get plugged into and worship with regularly. I want to deepen my relationship with God more than it is right now. I want to enjoy life.  


For the next year? I want to finish my last summer with the CEF ministry, and spend one last time sharing Jesus with my kids. I want to graduate college in December. I want to pass State Boards. I want to get a job and begin my career. I want to go on a missions trip to Vanuatu. I want to begin checking things off my bucket list. I want to be open to meeting new people, and not keeping them at a distance like I can sometimes do. I want to pay off my student loans.


5 years from now? I want to be established in my career. Possibly married or heading that direction. Kids? Not quite that soon. Take a trip outside the US. Go back-packing in Europe. Travel.


What happened last night made me re-evaluate some things in my life. I encourage you to take a step back, and look at your life. But don't wait for a near death experience to do it, because anything can happen In the Blink of an Eye.