In the Blink of an Eye

Teach me to number my days,
And count every moment, before it slips away.
Take in all the colors, before they fade to gray.

It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash,
It happens in the time it takes to look back.
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time,
What is it I've done with my life?


You know when people are talking about a near death experience they've had, they always say "I saw my life flash before my eyes." I had never really understood that... until last night. About 6:30, I was heading to Tilley to meet a friend. I got there just fine after work, and was walking towards the doors. Knowing me, my biggest concern was trying not to slip as I walked down the embankment... little did I know what was going to happen next. It was already dark outside, and raining slightly. As I got to the bottom of the hill, I noticed a car turning onto the through-way in front of the main gym doors. I knew I had enough time to get across, and I also knew that they would see me and have enough time to slow down just in case. I was about half-way across when I looked up and realized the car had begun to accelerate after rounding the corner and was less than 10 feet away, coming straight towards me. As this was all registering in my head, I froze for a split second and couldn't move. I guess the phrase "deer caught in the headlights" fit the situation pretty well. In these few seconds as I stood frozen in the middle of the road, with headlights coming straight at me, hundreds of thoughts were running through my head. I didn't know if I'd make it out of the way. It felt like 10 minutes, but it had to have only been 10 seconds. The car was less than 6 inches away as I jumped out of the way. I was too shaken to stop, but as I looked back at the driver, he had his cell phone in his hand and was looking out the passenger window. When he finally stopped, his car was right where I had been standing 10 seconds earlier.


During those few moments when I was frozen to the road, hundreds of thoughts ran through my head. Now I understand when people say "my life flashed before my eyes." For me, it did. I saw my brother, on the day he was born 4 years ago and the times he and I played over Christmas break last month. I saw my sister, who is now 15, when she was little and I'd dress her up like she was my favorite doll baby. I saw my other brothers when we'd blow up the old water mattress with air, and launch each other out of the corner. I saw my parents who have always been there for me no matter what the circumstance, and no matter how much I mess up. I saw my grandparents, and remembered the times when I was 5 and 6 years old when my Poppop would sneak me a cup of coffee at the Truck Stop when Nanna went to the bathroom. When my Nanna would make me special pancake shapes when I got to sleep over. I saw the friends that I have made here in the last 3 years.

After I got inside, I was waiting on my friend. I just sat there on the couch for a good 10 minutes. Right then and there it hit me that I could have died in that moment. I know that I am ready to die, because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ -- but how many people do not have that assurance? This event made me stop and think, and put things into perspective. What are my goals right now? For the next year? For 5 years from now?

Right now? I want to pass my classes, and enjoy the rest of my time in college, because it is going by way too quickly.  I want to laugh at the little things like my friend coming into my office at 9am in his pajamas cuz he didn't feel like getting dressed. I was to strengthen the friendships I already have, and develop new friendships with people that I may already know, or with people that I have yet to meet. I want to find a church that I can get plugged into and worship with regularly. I want to deepen my relationship with God more than it is right now. I want to enjoy life.  


For the next year? I want to finish my last summer with the CEF ministry, and spend one last time sharing Jesus with my kids. I want to graduate college in December. I want to pass State Boards. I want to get a job and begin my career. I want to go on a missions trip to Vanuatu. I want to begin checking things off my bucket list. I want to be open to meeting new people, and not keeping them at a distance like I can sometimes do. I want to pay off my student loans.


5 years from now? I want to be established in my career. Possibly married or heading that direction. Kids? Not quite that soon. Take a trip outside the US. Go back-packing in Europe. Travel.


What happened last night made me re-evaluate some things in my life. I encourage you to take a step back, and look at your life. But don't wait for a near death experience to do it, because anything can happen In the Blink of an Eye.