The "Feminization" of Men

"He's so emotional." 

"He's a little too in touch with his feminine side." 

"There are no good guys out there. They're either the 'bad boys' or 'verging on gay.' Why can't I just find a good guy?" 

"Where have all the real men gone?"

My friends.... You asked them to be more like women!! 

"I don't want you to fix it, I just want you to listen!"

"Why can't you be more romantic honey?"

"Why can't you be more sensitive?" 

"You never talk to me, what are you thinking about?"

Women have confused the heck out of Men!

Women have started to act more like men and it all started with the feminist movements in 1848. Although the first convention dealt with women having the right to vote (which I am completely for), the feminist movements eventually became about equality in the business world, and women having the capability of doing everything a man can do. And in turn, women have forced men to start having female emotional qualities. 

Can women do everything a man can do? Sure. Should they? No. 

I sometimes wonder why on earth females get offended when the guy opens the car door for them, or holds the door, or offers to carry something for her. What is so offensive about that? He's not saying you can't do it. He's being a gentleman, and not making you do it.

So again, the question is raised: "Where have all the real men gone?" 

God created men and women to be different, for different purposes. He gave men certain qualities, and women equally important, but different, qualities. If men and women were created the same, good Lord in Heaven, we'd have a boring world. 

Think about it this way. A group of 10 executives are working on improving their company. However, all 10 executives were brought up in the exact same community, they grew up going to church, school, daycare, etc., TOGETHER. Their family mindset is the same, their values are the same, beliefs are the same. Because of the nature of their background, the executives cannot move forward with the improvements. There are no new ideas brought to the table, no new perspectives to glean from, no "outside experience." STALEMATE. 

Newsflash: Men & Women are supposed to be different! 

Someone told me the other day that she can talk to her boyfriend for over 3 hours on the phone. Why on earth would you want to do that? I can understand if you don't see each other very often, long distance relationships, school breaks, etc. But EVERY DAY?! When do you get everything else done in your life? I sometimes wonder how much of the talking he actually does... 

Men are not talkative beings. They don't need it, nor do they bond by verbal communication. Women however, crave conversation, they thrive off it. To women, a 3 hour phone conversation could mean that a man is extremely interested in her. To men, it might just mean he wasted 3 hours on the phone.  

Instead of having girlfriends who fill our need for conversation, and the emotional sides of our lives, we have molded men to fit into that role now. 

But men, you're not off the hook either. It all started with Sadie Hawkins and her dad. I'm sure you've heard the story... women have started to take over the dating world. And men, you've sat back and allowed them to do so. Some women believe they have the right to ask a guy out. But then where do the roles reverse? "If she asks, then she pays. But if she pays, does she pick you up? Does she get you at your front door? Where does it end -- when she carries you over the threshold? When do you become the man so she gets back to being the woman -- when she gets pregnant? It won't work. Take back your manhood and find a woman to ask out." 

Yes, girls can be pushy and very assertive when getting a guy. BUT, if men stepped up their game, maybe the roles wouldn't need to be reversed. Afraid of rejection? Don't be! So one girl doesn't want to go out with you. Take a step back, and revise the way you asked her, and try again with someone else! There are 6 billion people in the world. One of them is bound to accept the date ;) 

So where have all the real men gone? We've made them disappear, fade into the woodwork, and smothered them

"The truth is guys, that every woman, whether she will admit it or not, wants to be chased. It's as ancient as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Women have a deep desire to be so beautiful that men would search the ends of the earth for them, fight for them, and yes, even risk rejection for them. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man she's interested in being sure enough of himself to ask her out." (Haley DiMarco, Marriable). 

The Three C's

"The proper female is efficient in the 3 C's -- Cooking, Cleaning, and Conceiving." Oh can I still hear my friend teasing me the first time I heard of this old adage. Well... surprise. The C's I'm thinking about are not just for women, but for men too!

Confidence
Compassion
Courage


Let's talk about confidence - 
The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. 


Confidence is a state of mind, not a reality. You don't have to BE confident to ACT confident. Do you smile when you walk into a room, OR do you timidly try to blend into the wallpaper? (are there even houses with wallpaper anymore?!) Do you accept compliments when they are given, OR do you roll your eyes and blow them off? Do you find yourself attractive, OR do you have to tear others down to make yourself feel better? (is this you? Check out That Gossip Girl) Do you laugh at yourself when you make a mistake or do something embarrassing, OR do you make others feel awkward by making a scene? Do you constantly fish for compliments, OR do you realize you're exactly who God created you to be and you're a one-of-a-kind person? 
But on the flip side; are you so confident that you don't allow others to do things for you? Are you cocky instead of confident? You're so self-assured and capable that you don't need anyone or anything else in your life? 
Girls: Do you ever let a guy open a jar, or soda for you "just because" even though you know, eventually, you will get it open? Sometimes its nice to make the guy feel needed (altho he'd never admit it lol). Do you let guys open the door for you, even though you are perfectly capable of opening it yourself? Don't just stand there awkwardly and wait until the next guy comes along 10 minutes later, but if he's in front of you, by all means SMILE and graciously say thank you. 
Guys: Do you ever let a girl in on a problem in your life, or maybe *dramatic gasp* ask her for advice? Women LOVE to talk! Maybe you won't end up taking their advice, and you certainly don't have to go into extreme detail, but it doesn't hurt to ASK! Girls love when a guy thinks her advice or input is wanted. Who knows, maybe you'll be surprised and gain some insight from her ramblings. 


Remember: Everyone else is or was at one point in their life, just as scared and insecure as you are. 
As one author put it, "confidence isn't about being all cocky and self-assured; it's about being holy and giving a rip about other people."


How about some compassion. Do you have a servant's heart? 

 For you have been called to live in freedom --

not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, 

but to serve one another in love. 

Galatians 5:13 NLT

This is where confidence can actually trip you up. "We are all made to serve one another, but if I never allow you to serve me, then I will never allow you to fulfill the command of God on your life." Allow others to do things for you, but don't be afraid to DO THINGS FOR OTHERS. Proverbs 15:28 says the godly think before speaking... do you speak with compassion? Sometimes it's better to keep quiet than anything else. A truly beautiful and confident girl givers her tongue a rest. That means that she shuts up! Guys aren't going to go after a girl that is constantly harping on others and putting others down. You can take Mark 9:35 to heart -- "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." 

And last but not least, courage. 

One of the most attractive things I find in a person is when they are willing to stand up for something they believe in. However, this go go really well, or really bad. Really well is when it's being used for GOOD, and can build people up, push people, and encourage a person to expand their views. But the really bad side is, well, BAD. It tears another person's beliefs down, and begins to attack the person (ad hominem). 

Do you have the courage to be yourself, and stand up for what you believe? 

Maybe for a girl, that means picking out your outfit without consulting five other girls that are going to the party. For example, "Ginger" and I were both going to the same small get-together with mutual male friends. She called about an hour before the party and asked me what I was wearing. When I replied "white shorts and a tank top," she said, "Oh... I was going to wear MY white shorts... are you sure you want to wear them too?" I had to laugh, because the only reason I picked them was because they were on the top of my clean laundry pile. I couldn't have cared less what I wore that night, but I could tell she reeeeally wanted me to change. Don't worry about what everyone else is wearing. Wear something that YOU are comfortable in, and that makes YOU feel good!
For a guy, maybe it means taking a day off from bragging about yourself and your accomplishments. "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness" 2 Cor 11:30. Paul isn't saying to go around and complain about things you can't do... but maybe think about aspects of your life that could use a little work. Get input from people on how you can improve in those areas. Eat a little piece of humble pie. 

Don't forget: You were made in God's image, so you MUST have been made right.