That Gossip Girl

Gossip: noun. Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Some would take this definition and run with it... saying that "as long as the information is true, then I'm not gossiping." Still others would say, as long as they're not actively participating in said conversation then its not wrong. I've also heard it said that as long as you're just venting to one person its not gossip. Or what about the reasoning "I'm just trying to talk through my problems." I've also had experiences where prayer groups/meetings and people in spiritual leadership positions have been the initiators of gossip. I can just imagine those prayer request slips being opened and discussed among those in "leadership." So and so has a problem with this? Oh my, no wonder ____ said ______ about her. And the conversation goes on... down a rabbit trail... with no end in sight.

Gossip ruins friendships, relationships, job opportunities, campaigns, Bible studies, leadership teams, churches... it can destroy anything.

I'm not saying I haven't taken part in gossip before, I believe that everyone has at one point, girl and guy alike. Its wrong. Period. Will we ever get away from it? Probably not. Its not a debbie downer look at life, its just a fact of life. People are sinners, and people love to talk. Its going to happien. Recently I've had some experience with "gossipers." During a particular conversation, I was listening to someone vent about a mutual friend of ours. I knew that anything I said confirming or denying her statements during this vent session could and would be used in the future against me. (sheesh I sound like a lawyer) Anyways, because of this, I said nothing, I just listened. Was this taking part in gossip? By some standards, maybe.
Although I wasn't actually participating in the gossip by actively giving feedback and telling more information about the mutual friend. If I had taken anything she said and made it change my opinion of the other friend, then yes, I was participating in the gossip. Did I allow her thoughts and opinions change my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and friendship with the other person? No. If anything it made the friendship stronger.  

On the flip side of this topic, I have also been the subject of said gossip. Was I supposed to find out the things that were being said? No, of course not. 99% of the time the subject of gossip is not supposed to hear what is being discussed. Does that make it less hurtful? No. What was being said actually hurt me, a lot. Even the adults that were part of this situation played the busybody gossip wives. The stories that came back to me from those women's mouths... sheesh. What do they take me for?

Back to the subject at hand... the way I look at things....
If I wouldn't say it to the person's face... then I don't say it at all.
If I wouldn't want it being said about me... then I don't say it at all.
If I wouldn't want those facts to be known about me... then I don't say it at all.
If the person told me the information in confidence... then I don't say it at all.
And so on... Get the picture?

As a friend said in his blog... Christianity is losing its beauty. Not because the truth of Christianity is failing. God's Gospel NEVER Fails. Its because the Christians of today are falling into the temptations of this world. They are losing the Hope that Christ alone can give them.