Under the Armor is a Child

I fell in love with this song in 10th grade. God brought it to my mind this morning.











Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when i fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child

~Twila Paris~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wm2W_yCEoaM&feature=related

Becoming You

An excerpt from Last Light by Terri Blackstock:

"Every day of your life you'll have to make decisions about what kind of person you want to be. Its not going to start when you're older. It starts right now. And every time you make a decision to be less than what God wants for you, you're denying yourself some of God's blessings. Its up to you. You can live a life with God's blessings, or just exist with all the consequences of choosing wrong."

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't come, You are in the present. The decisions you make today will change the outcome of tomorrow. The future starts now.

Little Ones to HIM Belong

This morning, God brought to my mind two very special little boys. Gage and his little brother Aiden are 9 and 7 years old.

Here is their story...

 For the past three years I have watched Gage and Aiden grow older and learn more things about God and the Bible. From summer to summer the changes in them were awesome to see. This particular summer, there were other changes occurring in their lives. After each club at the end of my allotted hour time slot, I always give an invitation or an opening for the kids to talk to me about receiving Christ as their Savior. Of the 16 children that were there, many of them under the age of 5, a few of them had talked to me after club finished. This particular day, I was getting ready to leave, and as I was heading to the door Aiden tugged on my hand and asked to talk to me. Thrilled beyond words, I took him to the corner of the room and began going through the counseling cards (visual cards with questions that we use to engage the children). As we finished the cards, he told me that he wanted to ask Jesus to be his Savior. I was able to pray with him, and when we finished, he looked at me and said "Jesus is always going to be with me, right?" I showed him the verse Hebrews 13:5 where Jesus says "I will never leave thee." The smile on his face was huge.
As Aiden and I were finishing up talking, his brother Gage (9), came over and asked to talk to me too. After Aiden left, I began to talk to Gage. I asked him what he wanted to talk about, and huge tears started to well up in his eyes. He whispered, "my mom is getting re-married, and I don't have a real dad anymore." After talking with him some more, I found out that his parents had gotten divorced, and his mom was getting re-married. He felt like his real dad didn't care about them anymore, he was worried about school, and having a new step-dad. As we were talking, I asked him if he had been listening to the lessons and songs I had taught them all week long. He said yes, and then I asked him if he heard the part during the lessons about asking Jesus to be his Savior. His reply was, "yes, I've been wanting to do that for a long time." I began to take him through the same counseling cards that his brother had just gone through. 15 minutes later, Gage prayed and asked Jesus to be his Savior. Afterward I asked him where Jesus was, and he looked at me with a huge smile and said "In my heart." I asked him how long he was going to stay there, and he said "forever." As we were talking, again about his family situation, he kept bringing up the fact that his dad wasn't going to be there anymore. I was able to talk to him about how God is like our Heavenly father, and even if we don't have a "real" father here on earth, God will always be there to listen to us and take care of us. He asked me if he'd be able to talk to him any time, I showed him Jeremiah 33:3 and explained what that verse meant. He asked if I would pray with him again, and I sat there and listened to this precious 9 year old boy talk to the Heavenly Father that would always be there for him. After he finished he looked at me and said "thank you for telling me about Jesus."

I have always been humbled by the fact that God allows me to minister to these children summer after summer. It is moments like these that remind me why we as Christians need to be ministering to the little ones. Everyone always talks about the 10-40 window, well my passion is the 4-14 window. 90% of Christians, if asked, will say that they received Christ between the ages of 4 and 14. Once a child reaches the age of 15 their minds are set, and beliefs have been established (in most cases). During the most vulnerable years of a persons' life is when they need to hear the Gospel. I am so ready for the challenges awaiting me this coming summer, and the precious little ones that God will bring in to my life once again.

"Even so, it is not the will of the Father, who is in Heaven, that even one of these little ones should perish."
~Matthew 18:14~

Three Words

Don't waste precious time, say those three little words "I love you" every day to the people that mean the world to you. You never know when it will be the last time they hear it.

Unrealistic Expectations

All is fair in Love and War.... Right?

Picture This: Once upon a time, guy meets girl, takes one look, they fall in love, decide to get married, and live happily ever after. The end. Perfect Fairy Tale right?

Now Picture This: People meet, in person or online, they start talking (usually through text or online chat), they "fall in love," and at some point they decide to move forward and live together or possibly get married, five years later give or take a few years they're headed to divorce court.  Happily ever after?


Too often, two people will meet and "fall in love" (technically that's not love, its just a bunch of chemicals in the brain and hormones in the body) and decide they are soul mates, absolutely perfect for each other in every way. Can two people really be perfect for each other? Is there really someone out there who can complete you? There are unrealistic expectations about love, marriage, and romance in today's world. All of these things are put into people's minds from the time they are old enough to sit in front of the TV. Yea, it's fun to meet new people, get to know them, maybe flirt a little. But to just jump right in to a relationship? I don't think that's a good idea.

My mom always told me to know the person for at least a a year before making permanent plans for the future, i.e. marriage. She didn't necessarily mean be dating the person or engaged to the person for a year, but to know the person in all "seasons of life." Literally... winter, spring, summer, and fall. In my opinion, my mom is an extremely smart woman. She and my dad have made it to almost 25 years of marriage all the while caring for my mom's invalid parents, raising six children, two of which are adopted, going through lay-offs, life-changing health problems, homeschooling and everything else that goes along with raising kids. Are they perfect? No. Do they fight? Sometimes. Do they love each other? Absolutely.

But what is love really? Is there a definition for it?
Merriam Webster defines love as:
- strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties  
- affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests    
- an assurance of affection 

- warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

- unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
- attraction based on sexual desire
- affection and tenderness felt by lovers

While those are tried and true definitions, which ones are really enough on which to base a marriage? True marriage worthy relationships are based on compatibility and companionship. I believe that is the problem with today's society. Instead of beginning with those two things as the foundation, people begin life-long relationships purely on physical attraction/sexual desire or the euphoria feelings of "love." Statistics have shown that the euphoria feeling or the "warm fuzzy feelings" as i've heard them called, only last about 16-19 months. After that first year or two, then what happens? Today, society has deemed it ok to say I dont love you anymore, I want a divorce. Just like that, everything is over, problem solved, committment is dissolved.

"Two people should never complete each other, only God can complete someone. God completes, people complement each other."
~Author Unknown~

So if compatibility and companionship should be the basis of a true relationship heading towards marriage, how does one go about attaining that? What exactly should relationships look like today. After talking with an older mentor, I took the advice he gave me, and began thinking. He said instead of watching a movie in a theater, watch it at home and relax, be able to talk or add comments. Instead of wasting 3 hours and about $20+ in a movie theater go volunteer at a rescue mission, or take a walk, go hiking, have a picnic, the possiblities are endless. (He really said go climb a rock wall, but I expanded on that one). Do things that actually get you thinking about aspects of the other person, that brings questions to mind, or puts flags up if something isn't right. It will help you find things out that you probably never would just sitting in the movie theater. A fun thing I've done with friends before is watch random youtube videos, or live recorded comedian shows. These sparked interesting discussions to say the least, as well as got us laughing and relaxed. Another idea of his was instead of spending money eating out all the time, have a little fun and make dinner together. Go the whole 9-yards. Together, make a menu, go grocery shopping, cook everything together, set the table fancy if you want to, and do the dishes together. What could usually be deemed a boring mundane task, can quite easily be turned into a fun, relaxing evening together. His second huge piece of adivce was talking. Not just text, or online, but actually talking face-to-face, or over the phone so you can see their face, and hear the inflections in their voice. Don't just talk about what happened that day, or problems with friends. Look at a newspaper together and discuss one of the articles. Talk about ideas in one of the books you've been reading. Sometimes silence is nice, but if you sit there and cannot think of a single thing to talk about - there is definitely a problem.

That first initial spark of attraction can be a wonderful thing, but it is not enough to start thinking marriage.  Don't have expectations when you start talking to someone. Go into things thinking: "on the other side of this, if I have a new friend-great, if I have something more-great, if I dont have anything -  am I worse off than where I am now?" Not really, unless you have your hopes set on it being more. But there's the problem, that is having expectations.

Forget the fairy tale romance, it simply doesn't happen. We're never really satisfied by someone else anyway, because they're not perfect and neither are we. That's how God created it to be. We shouldn't be able to be completely satisfied by another person - emotionally, physically, or spiritually. I believe He purposely created us that way; otherwise, we would have no need for a relationship with Him. Get rid of unrealistic expecations that movies, books, tabloids, and the internet put in your mind. Begin as friends, have fun and be yourself. If more is meant to be, then it'll happen.

Random Wanderings of the Soul

So I've decided to start a bucket list. Yes, its cliche, but oh well. There are lots of stories behind some of these, and some that are just whimsical wishes that I've always wanted to do.

 1. Road trip to the West Coast - Southern Cali Beaches.
 2. Run a 5k.
 3. Run a 10k.
 4. Attend a real News Years Eve party, possibly in a big city?
 5. Sleep out on the beach under the stars... with a tent as backup of course.
 6. Travel to Venice, Italy, and Greece.
 7. Go snorkeling in Hawaii.
 8. Go on a biking trip.
 9. Hike the Appalachian Trail.
10. Go skydiving.
11. See Niagra Falls.
12. Go running on Black Water Creek trails.
13. Go to a theme park with a significant other.
14. Visit the places where Anne of Green Gables and Avonlea were filmed on Prince Edward Island.
15. Learn how to surf.
16. Go horseback riding.
17. Ride a motorcycle (not drive).
18. Buy a hammock.
19. Go on a missions trip to Vanuatu.
20. Attend a formal dance, one that doesn't include getting ditched.
21. Learn how to ballroom dance.
22. Get dressed up, go to a fancy restaurant and get the most expensive item on the menu just because I can (this will probably be after I get a job haha).
23. Cliff Jumping
24. Explore behind a waterfall (just like the movies.... sorta)

Take Time

Found this poem that a friend sent me way back in 10th grade. Brought back so many memories from highschool years. Its crazy to think about how much time has passed since then. Six, seven, eight years ago for some things. So many people passing through your life. So many memories that were made.







Take time to think;
it is the source of power.
Take time to read;
it is the foundation of wisdom.
Take time to play;
it is the secret of staying young.
Take time to be quiet;
it is the opportunity to seek God.
Take time to be aware;
it is the opportunity to help others.
Take time to love and be loved;
it is God's greatest gift.
Take time to laugh;
it is the music of the soul.
Take time to be friendly;
it is the road to happiness.
Take time to dream;
it is what the future is made of.
Take time to pray;
it is the greatest power on earth.

~Author Unknown~

It makes me stop and think when I see people rushing through life. Being a nursing major and working during the school year and then two jobs throughout the summer doesn't really leave much time for what most people deem as fun. But i've found that in order to keep your mind healthy, you need to take a little time to let yourself relax and regroup. Not a whole lot of time, or you'll lose focus on what's important. But otherwise, you'll burn yourself out too quickly.

"Take time to read, it is the foundation of wisdom."

One of the things that I am so glad for during the summer is to just sit back, relax, and read a good book. Sometimes I'm a typical girl and read the "inspirational romance novels," whatever that is supposed to mean...  but mysteries, suspense, and medical mysteries are my favorites.
Sometimes I really don't understand the point of romance novels though, all they do is give you unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is supposed to be like. Its not going to be picture perfect, and it certainly won't always be fairytale romance. Yea, they're ok sometimes, but old time historical novels, old westerns, anything having to do with the victorian age, the old south with plantations and before/during/after the Civil War Era are my thing. I remember one of the series I read back in 7th or 8th grade was called "The Brides of Montclair." It was the longest series I had read up to that time, I think it was like 13 books. Even though they were fiction books, I learned so much about the history of America through those stories. Going from right after the Revolutionary War, continuing up until the series ended after World War II the series took you through the lives of 15 generations of women. Such a cool way to experience history. After finishing a book, I would take bits a pieces of information and research it, to find out if what the author was saying actually happened.

When I was younger, I was a pretty good kid, but I used to get in trouble for one thing. Reading. Ironic huh? It never failed, I would always get caught reading one of my books when I was supposed to be doing something else. I used to use those books as an escape from whatever was happening around me. I could actually get so lost in the story, that I literally would not hear anything going on around me. My Nanna taught me to read my first book when I was 3, ever since then when she first started me out, I have an a profound appreciation for books.

Don't get me wrong, I love watching movies and TV shows... but there's absolutely nothing like having a book in your hands, and being able to lose all sense of time in the words on the page.

Reach out and Touch

I found this hymn on facebook, in a post I had written in March of 2009, two months before I graduated highschool.
This song never fails to remind me of some of the reasons I want to be a nurse. Even though this applies to all kinds of nursing, I can specifically apply it to the field I want to work in after nursing school. Since I was 8 years old I have wanted to work in geriatrics. Yes, some people say 'you're crazy," some say sarcastically "oh, it takes a  very special kind of person to want to do that job." Sure, maybe I am different, and probably a little crazy, but it's the field God has given me the passion for. This amazing hymn relates to this past semester working one-on-one with patients and nurses during clinicals.

Reach Out and Touch - Charles F. Brown

Reach out and touch a soul that is hungry,
Reach out and touch a spirit in despair,
Reach out and touch a life torn and dirty
A man who is lonely - If you care!
Reach out and touch that neighbor who hates you:
Reach out and touch that stranger who meets you;
Reach out and touch the brother who needs you;
Reach out and let the smile of God touch thro' you.
Reach out and touch a friend who is weary.
Reach out and touch a seeker unaware,
Reach out and touch tho' touching means losing,
A part of yourself - If you dare!
Reach out and give your love to the loveless,
Reach out and make a home for the homeless;
Reach out and shed God's light in the darkness,
Reach out and let the smile of God touch thro' you.


In devotions the other morning it talked about being a real friend and reaching out to other people, whether they are friends or strangers. It would mean stepping out of my comfort zones and humbling myself, letting God put the words that He wants me to say into my mouth. In nursing I have had to step outside of my walls of comfort, and put myself and my faith out there in the open. But I've been blessed by it and able to pray with some of my patients when they've gotten bad news from the doctor, or had a bad day of chemo treatment, or just pray for them to heal in general.
You may never know who you are reaching, just by being yourself. So love not only with words, but with actions of love as well.

1 John 3:18
Let us not love with words... but with actions and in truth.

Playing the Game

In today's day and age, the new "norm" for relationships is almost wholly centered around cell phones, internet, facebook... all types of electronic media. This goes for friendships, parent/child relationships, and heaven forbid the dating relationship. What kind of messages are being sent over a tiny little phone screen, or through a chat box online. Do you really know who you're talking to? So much can be misinterpreted through a text message. Honestly, think about it. Can you really tell what the person is saying when you have a conversation through text messaging? You can't see their face. You cannot hear the inflections in their voice. Are they happy, sad, angry? Yes, there are various ways of showing those emotions through a screen, but in reality, how many times is it read the wrong way.

What happened to talking in person? Or even talking on the phone? Pretty soon, people are not going to be able to hold a conversation face to face. I cannot remember the last time I was with someone who did not pick up their phone at least once to send a text message. Sometimes it even happens in the middle of a conversation. They'll stop what they are saying or doing and begin a completely different conversation with someone else through their phone. I'm not saying I'm guilt-free of this. I do it too, probably more than I even realize. But I got to thinking about this a lot recently, and how it could be affecting relationships that I have now and the ones I will have in the future. Whether those relationships are friendships, dating relationships, or even someday the relationships I will have with my children.

I was watching a movie tonight called "Playing the Game" where the main characters are basically playing a relationship game. Overall its a great movie; funny, but yet in the end there's a lesson to be taken away from watching it. What kind of games are being played in relationships today? You have feelings for the person, but you pretend not to so that they'll begin to like you, then when you're sure of their feelings you can bare your soul. How healthy can that really be. Beginning things on a lie? Yes, its very easy to do the whole flirting game and banter back and forth, and with today's technology, it just got a whole lot easier. A person can actually think about their reply before sending it, instead of having to say things in person. They can hide behind a phone screen, or a computer screen, saying things that probably would never be said in person. Then the misinterpretation comes into play, and everything starts to get messy.

Many people would pull out the cliche saying that "guys need to grow up and do the initiating, they should make the first phone call, etc, etc." Yes, that is true, I believe the guy should make the first move and be the leader in the relationship. However, many times its the girls who hide behind the computer screens, and rely on texting. In essence it forces the guys to resort to using this method of communication. Its not the "guys' fault" or the "girls' fault." Its something we're all guilty of.

Break out of those comfort zones, and leave behind the cell phones. Don't settle for "interpreting" what the other person is saying. If you care about them, and you possibly have an interest in them, talk face to face. Do you really have that much to lose? Maybe it'll hurt your pride, if it does, alright, take it with a grain of salt and move on. Don't let an argument or a serious conversation occur over the internet or texting. You cannot, cannot, 100% sure tell what the person really means without at least hearing their voice or seeing them face-to-face. Yes, its hard, but it would save people a lot of trouble and drama if we would quit using electronics as the main method of communication in relationships.
If texting a conversation instead of talking in person meant losing a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, spouse, would you still do it?

Think about it.