In today's day and age, the new "norm" for relationships is almost wholly centered around cell phones, internet, facebook... all types of electronic media. This goes for friendships, parent/child relationships, and heaven forbid the dating relationship. What kind of messages are being sent over a tiny little phone screen, or through a chat box online. Do you really know who you're talking to? So much can be misinterpreted through a text message. Honestly, think about it. Can you really tell what the person is saying when you have a conversation through text messaging? You can't see their face. You cannot hear the inflections in their voice. Are they happy, sad, angry? Yes, there are various ways of showing those emotions through a screen, but in reality, how many times is it read the wrong way.
What happened to talking in person? Or even talking on the phone? Pretty soon, people are not going to be able to hold a conversation face to face. I cannot remember the last time I was with someone who did not pick up their phone at least once to send a text message. Sometimes it even happens in the middle of a conversation. They'll stop what they are saying or doing and begin a completely different conversation with someone else through their phone. I'm not saying I'm guilt-free of this. I do it too, probably more than I even realize. But I got to thinking about this a lot recently, and how it could be affecting relationships that I have now and the ones I will have in the future. Whether those relationships are friendships, dating relationships, or even someday the relationships I will have with my children.
I was watching a movie tonight called "Playing the Game" where the main characters are basically playing a relationship game. Overall its a great movie; funny, but yet in the end there's a lesson to be taken away from watching it. What kind of games are being played in relationships today? You have feelings for the person, but you pretend not to so that they'll begin to like you, then when you're sure of their feelings you can bare your soul. How healthy can that really be. Beginning things on a lie? Yes, its very easy to do the whole flirting game and banter back and forth, and with today's technology, it just got a whole lot easier. A person can actually think about their reply before sending it, instead of having to say things in person. They can hide behind a phone screen, or a computer screen, saying things that probably would never be said in person. Then the misinterpretation comes into play, and everything starts to get messy.
Many people would pull out the cliche saying that "guys need to grow up and do the initiating, they should make the first phone call, etc, etc." Yes, that is true, I believe the guy should make the first move and be the leader in the relationship. However, many times its the girls who hide behind the computer screens, and rely on texting. In essence it forces the guys to resort to using this method of communication. Its not the "guys' fault" or the "girls' fault." Its something we're all guilty of.
Break out of those comfort zones, and leave behind the cell phones. Don't settle for "interpreting" what the other person is saying. If you care about them, and you possibly have an interest in them, talk face to face. Do you really have that much to lose? Maybe it'll hurt your pride, if it does, alright, take it with a grain of salt and move on. Don't let an argument or a serious conversation occur over the internet or texting. You cannot, cannot, 100% sure tell what the person really means without at least hearing their voice or seeing them face-to-face. Yes, its hard, but it would save people a lot of trouble and drama if we would quit using electronics as the main method of communication in relationships.
If texting a conversation instead of talking in person meant losing a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, spouse, would you still do it?
Think about it.
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