"He's so emotional."
"He's a little too in touch with his feminine side."
"There are no good guys out there. They're either the 'bad boys' or 'verging on gay.' Why can't I just find a good guy?"
"Where have all the real men gone?"
My friends.... You asked them to be more like women!!
"I don't want you to fix it, I just want you to listen!"
"Why can't you be more romantic honey?"
"Why can't you be more sensitive?"
"You never talk to me, what are you thinking about?"
Women have confused the heck out of Men!
Women have started to act more like men and it all started with the feminist movements in 1848. Although the first convention dealt with women having the right to vote (which I am completely for), the feminist movements eventually became about equality in the business world, and women having the capability of doing everything a man can do. And in turn, women have forced men to start having female emotional qualities.
Can women do everything a man can do? Sure. Should they? No.
I sometimes wonder why on earth females get offended when the guy opens the car door for them, or holds the door, or offers to carry something for her. What is so offensive about that? He's not saying you can't do it. He's being a gentleman, and not making you do it.
So again, the question is raised: "Where have all the real men gone?"
God created men and women to be different, for different purposes. He gave men certain qualities, and women equally important, but different, qualities. If men and women were created the same, good Lord in Heaven, we'd have a boring world.
Think about it this way. A group of 10 executives are working on improving their company. However, all 10 executives were brought up in the exact same community, they grew up going to church, school, daycare, etc., TOGETHER. Their family mindset is the same, their values are the same, beliefs are the same. Because of the nature of their background, the executives cannot move forward with the improvements. There are no new ideas brought to the table, no new perspectives to glean from, no "outside experience." STALEMATE.
Newsflash: Men & Women are supposed to be different!
Someone told me the other day that she can talk to her boyfriend for over 3 hours on the phone. Why on earth would you want to do that? I can understand if you don't see each other very often, long distance relationships, school breaks, etc. But EVERY DAY?! When do you get everything else done in your life? I sometimes wonder how much of the talking he actually does...
Men are not talkative beings. They don't need it, nor do they bond by verbal communication. Women however, crave conversation, they thrive off it. To women, a 3 hour phone conversation could mean that a man is extremely interested in her. To men, it might just mean he wasted 3 hours on the phone.
Instead of having girlfriends who fill our need for conversation, and the emotional sides of our lives, we have molded men to fit into that role now.
But men, you're not off the hook either. It all started with Sadie Hawkins and her dad. I'm sure you've heard the story... women have started to take over the dating world. And men, you've sat back and allowed them to do so. Some women believe they have the right to ask a guy out. But then where do the roles reverse? "If she asks, then she pays. But if she pays, does she pick you up? Does she get you at your front door? Where does it end -- when she carries you over the threshold? When do you become the man so she gets back to being the woman -- when she gets pregnant? It won't work. Take back your manhood and find a woman to ask out."
Yes, girls can be pushy and very assertive when getting a guy. BUT, if men stepped up their game, maybe the roles wouldn't need to be reversed. Afraid of rejection? Don't be! So one girl doesn't want to go out with you. Take a step back, and revise the way you asked her, and try again with someone else! There are 6 billion people in the world. One of them is bound to accept the date ;)
So where have all the real men gone? We've made them disappear, fade into the woodwork, and smothered them
"The truth is guys, that every woman, whether she will admit it or not, wants to be chased. It's as ancient as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Women have a deep desire to be so beautiful that men would search the ends of the earth for them, fight for them, and yes, even risk rejection for them. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man she's interested in being sure enough of himself to ask her out." (Haley DiMarco, Marriable).
I'm in love with her blog!!
ReplyDeleteSo at the moment, the only thing I can think of is that you're saying the beta male simply sees everything in a relationship as a means to sex. (3 hours later) Let’s pretend that is the exception, and not the rule, and therefore your argument of the pandering man isn't worth a hill of beans. To go one step further, if a man has to grovel and beg for sex, than 1) he chose the wrong woman, 2) its not a relationship its a dictatorship, 3) she's horrible, and 4) he is not a real man if he lowers himself to grovel and pander (I abhor that word) just for sex.
ReplyDeleteAnd the slippery slope argument was just put in because I thought it was funny. Plain and simple. Plus we’ve had the conversation before about boundaries and it all stems from self-control and insecurity.
As I’m thinking about this more, you’re responding with the assumption that all men are at the same point in life where you are now. But how did you get there? Simply because someone told you how to do things? No. I know you better than that. You’re a trial and error kind of person. You don’t simply take someone’s word and go with it; especially if they tell you not do to something. If anything, that just eggs you on to actually try something to figure it out for yourself. Most guys, if not all, have to go through that trial and error phase. Some make it out unscathed, some come out of it with a wife and 2.5 kids. However, ultimately, it is their decision.
Question… if God didn’t create men and women to be different… physically, emotionally, mentally… why didn’t he just create men with female body parts? Why give women different hormone levels than men? Why give men and women different bodies? I believe that God created the differences in the human body for pleasure and for reproduction. We are exquisite creations, made in His image, and the way that some people look now, and especially seeing how fallen our world is, I can’t even imagine what the first man and woman looked like. Let alone God. But that’s off-topic. Saying that, why did God create men and women? Straight from scripture, it says it’s not good for man to be alone, and God created women to be a helper. I don’t know the various “roles” or purposes, and I don’t think we can even begin to comprehend God’s thoughts when He created humans. Some things are simply beyond our comprehension.
ReplyDeleteYou also cannot tell me that men and women are not different mentally and emotionally. Mentally, men and women do not think the same way. Most men and women do not think the same way, but then neither do two women or two men either. Yes, there is always the exception to the rule. Same with emotionally, if a man is “overly-emotional” most times he’s automatically put in the gay box. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. I don’t think it has anything to do with biology, or DNA; I believe it has everything to do with upbringing, parental decisions, society, etc. I don’t pretend to understand the gay and lesbian minds, I don’t understand it, and I probably never will. Do I condemn or judge them? No, but do I agree with it? No. But again, that is an entirely different conversation.
“Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man she's interested in being sure enough of himself to ask her out." I think we interpreted this two different ways. After reading it again, I understand how you took it, and I laughed. When I read it I interpreted it to mean confidence. Not much is more attractive to me than a guy who is confident. One who doesn’t need you to argue with them after a compliment is given and they don’t believe it. One who is sure of himself as an individual, as a man, WITHOUT a woman, girlfriend, or otherwise, attached at the hip. He’s his own person, doesn’t live under the shadow of his parents, and is able to think for himself. Maybe this confidence will be what pushes him to ask a girl out, but maybe it just means striking up a conversation without NEEDING it to end in a date. Or meeting people for the sake of meeting people, not expanding the future spousal horizons. (so to speak).
The other day I told someone I wasn’t sure if the “marry your best friend” idea was a good one. Well, now I’m sure. Friendship is one of the best basis’s for a lasting relationship. I think it’s sad that people today view marriage as a social structure to be trapped in. Marriage should be something that never stays the same, never gets boring, and is always improving upon experience. I know that sounds idealistic; however, I’ve seen it to be true. My parents’ marriage, my grandparent’s marriage, and some other awesome older generation influences in my life. If the foundations are laid correctly: faith, morals, core beliefs, etc., than a proper “home” can be built.
Jesse, Your slippery slope discussion doesn't make any sense. You used an analogy from nature to describe an analogy from nature, but they are not comparable. A slippery slope is not a cliff. if you start sliding down a slippery slope than it is hard to stop. That is what the argument is. It is describing a scenario where you think that you will be fine because it is just a slope, when in reality it is very dangerous. Everyone knows that if they jump of a cliff they will die, but not everyone knows that a slope is slippery and if they step one step further they will begin to slide and be unable to stop. Maybe you somehow have amazing self-control and can stop anywhere you want, but that's not the case for everyone. We have to set boundaries for ourselves to prevent ourselves from making a stupid mistake. Maybe that's just because my frontal lobe hasn't fully developed yet, but I wouldn't want other young 20 somethings thinking that they can stop a roller-coaster in the middle of the ride.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you said that girls "neither want men to fully be men or allow them to abdicate the responsiblity that comes with being a man." You just admitted that men have certain responsibilities which they could abdicate. So what do you actually think?
Then you said, "Where do you get that God created men and women for different purposes?" He didn't. They have the same purpose but help fulfill it in different ways.
Finally, you said that male female roles are cultural. Paul says of marriage, "'This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.' (Ephesians 5:32 ESV) Paul is saying that the nature of biblical roles of men and women illustrate Christ and His church not the other way around. He bases them on Christ, who is not a cultural phenomenon, but a universal reality.
If i misunderstood anything, let me know.