I'm the Youngest I'll Ever Be and the Oldest I've Ever Been

Today is my birthday...

It is now 2:10am and I can't sleep, which isn't the greatest thing in the world because I have to be up for class in less than four hours. This insomnia might have something to do with the 5 cups of extra strength coffee I had... after 9:30pm.... just maybe. I think I'm addicted to coffee.

Today I added a new folder to my documents tab... SENIOR YEAR. 

I'm taking a summer class... and I'm officially a senior now, even though I've had senior status since 1st semester sophomore year. How? I have no clue. For four hours last night I worked on my genetics project for one of my nursing classes. I'm taking an entire semester's worth of one class... in 5 days. Crazy right? Anyways, its the second time I've done a Pedigree project, but the first time I hand drew it. This time we were required to make it online. Talk about a headache. Four hours later, I finally finished the dumb thing... and this is only page 1/4 of the assignment. There's a 2 page chart that I didn't bother to take a picture of.

This picture isn't centered... and its going to bug the bejeebies out of me. 

So far I've gotten some pretty cool birthday presents and messages. My mom sent me one at midnight saying "Dappy Hirth Bay." I love my Mom. 

In the present department, I got an awesome Ted Dekker book called THR3E. Although I wouldn't recommend reading it when you're alone at your creepy apartment for 3 days straight. I got a knife, a new coffee mug that was specially made for me, writing paper, pens, coffee, envelopes and stamps. 

My little brother called me today and asked what I got him for Mother's Day. And in a tribute to my Mom... I've seriously got the best Mom in the world. She is my hero, one of the strongest women I've ever known, and a Godly woman I strive to be like. 

I decided to look at my blog stats today... in the past 14 days... 80 people from Russia viewed my blog... 80 people from the US viewed my blog... and 1 person from Alaska as well. How cool is it that people around the world are (hopefully) being impacted by my random musings. My God is AWESOME. 

It is now 2:35am. If i'm lucky, I can get about 3.5 hours of sleep before my 8.5 hour class starts. Can I please just go curl up in a hole and sleep the next week away? Anyone want to join me in this short-term hibernation?




In closing for this random post... I will leave you with my daily Bible verse that came on my phone just now. Yea, they decide to send it at 2am every morning.

Waiting on God - Day 8

Read: Psalm 27

Word of God Speak  

I think this song goes well with v. 1-6 of this passage. It immediately came to mind this morning as I was reading.



Challenge: What kind of fears and doubts prevent believers from waiting on God? 

In the devotional series, the focus today was waiting on God by being strong and of good courage. Having the faith and the trust to place everything in God's hands and allow Him to work. For a little background story; I love visiting new churches. I love the different types of worship that goes on, the various types of music, and the preaching styles of different pastors. One particular week, a friend and I visited a Wednesday evening Bible study at a church. I had been there twice for regular services and wasn't impressed, but decided to try this Bible study. During the video message, it was made abundantly clear that one must give your whole self to God, but the man also said that if you give certain idols over to God, its a once and done thing. You give it to God and you never have to struggle with it again. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm human, and one of my faults is I like being in control. This poses a problem when I "give something to God." Do I trust Him? Yes, I do. But even so, I still feel like I'm an Indian Giver sometimes. I give, and then I take back, I give, and then I take back.

Back to the church. At the end of the video, we broke off into smaller groups of about 8-10 people. This was supposed to be a young adult class, but in reality it was a wacked out group of "single" people from 35-65+ years old. It was quite awkward since my friend and I were the only two people under the age of 30 in the room. During the little break-out session, we were supposed to talk about things that we've given over to God. Two or three people in my group shared saying they had give over these huge problems or idols in their life and they've never had to worry about them since. I was sitting there thinking, "holy cow, teach me!" I knew my turn was coming to share, and if I don't know people, I don't like sharing my personal struggles with them. So I simply said, being in college and paying for it myself, money and bills are things that I have trouble giving up control of. And then I admitted that while I've given it to God, sometimes I'll catch myself "taking it back" and worrying about it again, so I stop and pray and give it right back to God. A few of the "older" people of the group then proceeded to tell me that I wasn't trusting God enough and that I have a huge problem because I don't allow Him control over my finances. They said I need to sit back, relax and let God provide.

Is that wrong? Am I sinning because I don't trust God enough? Is it wrong that I have two jobs to pay for school and I'm not just sitting around letting God drop money into my lap?

Maybe I have a warped view of God providing. But I also think that God rewards those who work hard and honor Him in their every day lives. There are countless times when I have seen God work in my life, and seen how He provides for everything I need. Two jobs and nursing school doesn't really leave extra time for things, especially overtime hours. But there have been numerous occasions when I am down to the last minute on paying a bill, and somehow I have a few extra hours at work that week and I get paid just a little more than the bill amount. Or, I have needed something, like a bed last month, and because the guy accidentally sold mine, I got an $800 bed within my price range for $200. Because I was actively looking for a bed, and bargaining, and searching for deals; does that mean I don't trust God? No, I believe God gave me the brain and the money skills to be a good steward of my money. This means bargaining, sales shopping, and comparing prices. Do I trust God? Of course.

God provides... even a bed.