Womenspeak - A New Language?

Men don't understand women. Women don't understand men. But do women really understand each other? Not really, Its just one never-ending circle of confusion.


While reading a book called "Female Intelligence" there are some things that stood out to me.
Some of the major comments or innuendos were that men have to be "in touch with their feminine side" and or had to learn a certain "language" to be able to carry on a conversation with a woman. Not the case. In the book, the language of females was called womenspeak. Men needed to learn and understand this language in order to effectively communicate with the women in their lives. However, in reality, this womenspeak language, was in actuality teaching men how to placate women by using key phrases that were memorized as one would learn a script.

C'mon people... is this really how it works in real life? Of course not!

Today, the world has created so many problems for communication -- technology being one of them, but that was discussed in a previous post. There are certain quotes such as this one to the right that cause men to constantly wonder what women are thinking about. Or there's the list of things called the female dictionary such as:

• Nothing, forget it = you better figure out what you did wrong.
• Are you tired? = please don't go to sleep, I love talking to you.
• I'm okay = I'm really not, I want you to hold me and let me cry, but i'm too proud to admit it.
• I just don't care anymore = I still care, but i'm sick of arguing with you.
• I'm cold = give me your sweatshirt.
• Leave me alone = please don't go.
• I love you = tell me you do more.

What on earth are we trying to do to those poor guys? I cannot tell you how many girls, young ladies, women -- choose your noun -- have complained to me that guys or men just do not understand them. Well, maybe the above is a clue as to why they don't. Most guys have a very straight forward thinking mind. As two authors stated in their book, "men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti." In many ways, this is true, most guys do not analyze every single thing that is said or done. They don't interconnect everything that happens and reference to a previous incident like females do. Which is why there are so many problems with communication between men and women in today's world. There are so many different meanings to words or sayings that it has everyone confused! I say everyone needs to start speaking their mind... it might be bad for some, but there'd be less confusion.

There's also the little issue of holding grudges, or pulling out "the file" of past grievances committed and using it as a weapon. Men really don't do that -- something happens, they forget and move on. Women keep these things filed away under lock and key to pull out whenever they need feul for the fire. PROBLEM. What is the deal with women and keeping those things for ammo? Is it the need to win? Or one-up the guy? To make him the bad guy every time something happens? This is not a healthy thing to do in any relationship, let alone a dating relationship or marriage. These things will just cause problems that will escalate into bigger problems.

So, can men and women actually communicate with each other? Yes!! There are some great guys I know who can hold awesome conversations. The difference? There's no hidden agenda, there's no hidden meanings behind the things being said, there's no grudges being held. I'll leave you with some food for thought... A wise person once told me:

 "Say what you mean, and mean what you say. People won't have to wonder so much then."